Who Are You?
by Sylvia Angelbourne
Summary: [Complete] Story: Adam is crushed by his sister's death. Will anyone be able to help him? Or is the magic on the ice lost forever? Something's wrong with Charlie but he won't tell.. Just how much will it take for Guy and Connie to get back together?
1. Default Chapter

A/N : This story is mainly about Adam, Charlie, Guy and my OC, Helen. Please R&R! First shot at a Duck fic. This first chapter is a short introduction to the story. Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer : The Mighty Ducks are created by Walt Disney Pictures. Helen and any other unfamiliar characters are owned by the author.  
  
"Quick! Wake up!" someone rapped at our door.  
  
I woke up with a start and fell head first out of bed. Behind me, Connie and Julie grunted in reply to the bump of the fall. I swear those two could sleep right through a combination of hurricanes and earthquakes.  
  
"Help!" more knocking, urgent this time.  
  
"Guy?" Connie mumbled. The door crashed open and Guy toppled in still in his sleep pants looking like he'd seen a ghost.  
  
"Real cute Germaine, thanks for the wake up call. Now get back to bed. It's barely 6!" Julie taunted from under her sheets.  
  
"She's gone girls, she's gone," and he collapsed.  
  
"Who's gone?" I asked quizzically as Connie tried to hold him up with Julie's help.  
  
"It's Penny, she had another attack. Adam found her in her room but it was too late. She's gone."  
  
"Oh God.." I followed as Julie dashed out of the room, down the hall and into Penny's room. Adam was crouching beside the double bunk bed with a blank look in his eyes. I followed his gaze onto the bed and sucked in a gasp. Gone from her sea blue eyes was the sparkle that used to shine against the blazing sunlight. Her face so pale.. her lips wide apart holding an audible scream that was so loud it crushed the silence around her.  
  
Julie bent down and wrapped her arms around Adam tightly as he sobbed. "I should've checked on her last night. But I didn't.. she's gone.. how am I going to tell Mom and Dad?" his eyes trailed her face frantically as if it held the answers he needed.  
  
"I don't know Adam.. I don't know.." she shook her head. He let out an anguish cry and pushed passed the other Ducks out of the room.  
  
"Adam! Where are you going?" Charlie yelled and took off after him. I stared at Penny's still figure. She looked so cold, like ice. I shivered and turned away. It was one night we would never forget for the rest of our lives. 


	2. Wipeout

Helen's POV  
  
I walked down the empty hallway after school, struggling under the weight of the books I had checked out from the library. Only the janitor was there, mopping up some mess from the floor. After five months in Eden Hall, I still felt out of place just walking into class every morning. The sea of unfamiliar faces made me feel uncomfortable and people were giving me weird looks. Every time I thought to myself at the end of the day, how I wish I were still back in Ohio. I missed my friends badly. The five of us were a tight group and then my parents made me come here with my cousin, Guy. I'd gotten a scholarship. I didn't even apply for one! But they had to ruin it all, telling me I should "keep my options open" and "try new things" even though I called them every single night for the first month trying to tell them it really really sucked here.  
  
Yeah, TRY. That's an understatement. I screamed and shouted over the phone then cried myself to sleep every night and I'm still stuck here in this preppy-filled dump. Sure, the Ducks were nice enough. Well, most of them anyway I thought wryly as Luis popped into my mind. He annoyed me at times, maybe because he had as many, if not more girlfriends than all the clothes in my wardrobe added up, and that, did not include those in a mess around my room. But they had known each other since forever, and I hadn't even seen Guy since we moved away four years ago.  
  
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"  
  
Great. Just great. I got up from the ground and rubbed my cheek. Stupid stairs. I turned around and aimed a kick at the bottom step. "Oww!" A throbbing pain shot up my foot. So much for revenge. "Remember to look in front next time," I scolded myself. I dusted my glasses which had gone askew and my blurred vision focused on a lone figure seated under the old oak tree beside the gates. I blinked twice and squinted.  
  
Adam Banks. His face was carrying that blank look again. I knew that look well. Ever since the night his sister passed away he was always staring randomly into space without whatsoever expression on his face. I was there, I saw it. I saw everything. My roommates, Connie and Julie were friends with him. They were there too. I closed my eyes, trying to wipe out the horrible memory from my mind and a pair of blue eyes glared back at me. I shuddered and opened my eyes again. I could never forget Penny Banks' eyes. Not now, not ever.  
  
I gathered my books from the ground and headed for the gates. "Ooppsss! Sorry 'bout that!" someone cried out as books and papers flew.  
  
"Thud!"  
  
"Ouch!" Possibly the largest book of all had landed on my arm.  
  
"Hey.. Helen.. sorry I didn't know you were coming round the corner." I glanced up over 6 feet from the ground. Charlie Conway, one of my cousin's friends I'd gotten to know over the summer in Minnesota during my week's stay. The guy was looking sheepishly at me.  
  
"Thanks for helping off the ground Charlie," I groaned.  
  
"Oh, right, sorry," he grinned and grabbed my arms. "It's a lot worse getting checked on the ice. You should try that sometimes."  
  
"Ha ha, very funny Conway. Maybe you should check the corners before you try to run someone down next time," I brushed my pants and bent to pick up my things.  
  
"Here, let me help you," he replied. "What's all this huh? Advanced psych, chemistry, physics. How can you stand this stuff? Figure they'd let you out of school early if you ace a few more papers?" he teased.  
  
"Yeah, I can't wait to leave," I shot back at him.  
  
His eyebrows creased into a frown. "Hey, it's not too bad here once you get the hang of it," he said with a tint of concern in his tone. "I mean sure, Varsity sucks, the preppies suck, cheerleaders could get a better life, Miss Morton belongs in a mental hospital. but the rest of us ain't too bad," he grinned at me.  
  
I laughed at that and picked up my bag. "She's not mental Charlie. You better get that math done tonight or she'll pick on you in class again," I reminded him.  
  
"Oooo.. math homework. Sheer joy. I'll die of excitement and then they'll have to pick a new captain," he winked. I stuck out my tongue at him.  
  
"I gotta go or I'll never finish this work tonight. See ya around Charlie." He waved and I started down the road.  
  
"Hey Helen!" I turned around.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Have you seen Banks?" he asked.  
  
"Ummm.. saw him on the way out. He's under the tree again." Silence.  
  
"Charlie? I wanted to ask you.. why is he still like that? I mean.. it's been three months already.." I blurted and immediately felt guilty. I didn't even know the guy and here I was, judging his character, his strength to stand up again. He always seemed quiet, but never this quiet. That was why I'd never gotten to know him much though I hang with the Ducks at times.  
  
"I don't know Helen.. I really don't know," Charlie shook his head dejectedly. And I thought to myself, I didn't know either or maybe I just didn't understand.  
  
I thought about Adam as I walked the ten minutes to the dorms, wondering how it felt like. I thought of my own sister at home. We quarreled and fought all the time. But I could never imagine not having her around. And my brother.. I felt a bottomless pit of nothingness inside me just thinking of it. Emptiness. Maybe that's how Adam felt.  
  
When I reached our dorm, I heard yelling and shouting from inside. My heart stopped and I flung open the door hurriedly only to be greeted by chaos. The floor was filled with chips, pretzels and some liquid which I suspected was soda.  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
"Sorry babe, food fight," Portman replied me from where he was, on the floor in the liquid trying to empty the contents of the soda bottle on Fulton who was struggling to stuff ice down his shirt. On the couch, Goldberg, Kenny and Russ were still wrestling a few packets of chips from Luis and Averman while Dwayne and Guy pelted each other with pretzels in the corner of the room. The whole place looked like a tornado hit. The lounge table was overturned and the television was still blaring commentary off a hockey game, homework and books abandoned. Typical.  
  
"Yeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwww!!" I screamed as balance escaped me and crashed smack on top of Portman and Fulton. Gales of laughter filled the room.  
  
"Glad you could join us," Fulton groaned, crushed under the weight.  
  
"Yeah babe, finally giving in to me?" Portman turned around and grinned mischievously.  
  
"Oh give it up Portman!"  
  
Howling laughter again, followed by a chorus of "Way to go Helen!" and "Give it to him!".  
  
"Good going cuz!" Guy chuckled.  
  
"Shut up Guy!" I scowled at him. He returned it with an expression of mock horror. "Bite me!"  
  
I laughed out loud for the first time that day. My cousin made the weirdest faces and they always set me off no matter how cranky I felt.  
  
"Will you get off already?" a muffled voice came from underneath the pile I topped. I swiped Portman on the head and rolled over - into bright orange soda. 


	3. A Penny for Your Thoughts

Adam's POV  
  
I gazed silently at the new green grass. Spring had arrived. Everything looked the same. Same trees, same flowers, same fresh air, same old Ducks. Then why am I feeling like crap? Hah! Who was I kidding? I knew very well why. Penny. The very thought of her was painful memory. In the distance, I could hear merry chirping. Two sparrows were hopping across the lawn. The one with the red bib must be the elder. He pushed his sister from behind and got a peck on the.. I stopped. Sister. My sister was gone. Two more joined them on the ground, slightly bigger in size. They must be family, I realized. Family. I didn't want to think about that either.  
  
When mom heard about Penny, she went hysterical. Every weekend at home was filled with the constant shrieking and tears. The wild look on her face every time someone mentioned Penny was enough to shut them up again before she threw one of her tantrums again. I remember one night as I passed the master bedroom to my own. "Penny.. Penny.." she cried in her sleep. My father was rarely at home. When he was, he would carry himself in a chipper mood, trying to joke and make us laugh which was very unlike him. He never joked with us, not with me especially. As far as memory went, all he ever did was push me hard to play hockey. And now all of a sudden he's a saint. I laughed bitterly at the idea.  
  
He was no father. He was the master and I was the slave he ordered around. I never retaliated. When I had first joined the Ducks, he tried to stop me. He would beat me every night until mom threatened to call the police. Then he gave up. Sometimes during my stay at the dorms I felt guilty. I had escaped from home and left mom and Penny there with that monster. I fought hard with him to get Penny to move in with us when she started at Eden Hall. It was mom's idea, she was brave. I hated to think of her alone at home with him, but she insisted.  
  
Penny.. she was as bright as her name held. Barely until my shoulders, she was merely five feet tall. She was like a little ball of fire, fiery and full of energy. She brought smiles on faces everywhere she went. Mom always favored her. Not that I minded, I loved her with all my heart. She was always the brave one, like mom.  
  
---- Flashback ----  
  
"I'm sorry Mrs. Banks, but I'm afraid it's bad news. Your daughter has been diagnosed with pneumonia," the doctor told us gravely.  
  
Mom crumbled to the ground and I felt a lump rising in my throat. My mouth went dry as Penny came out of the doctor's room. She rushed to mom's side at once. I stood there numbly, watching her. Suddenly she seemed so small, so frail.  
  
"It's ok Mom, everything's gonna be ok," she whispered softly but with courage. She looked at me encouragingly and I managed a wavering smile. I was afraid. So afraid for her. More afraid than she ever was for herself.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
"Adam! Adam!" Penny shrieked and leapt on my back. I hoisted her into a piggy back and started skating down to the other end of the pond and around again and again until we fell back onto the ice in exhaustion.  
  
"Adam? You know what I'm going to do when I grow up?" she asked me as we lay on the ice.  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
"I'm gonna earn lots and lots of money and buy a big house so we can live in it together," was her reply.  
  
I grinned at the thought and sighed contently. We always shared the best times together. I started tickling and poking her sides as she laughed in glee. "Stop it Adam!"  
  
---- End Flashback ----  
  
I never felt alone with Penny by my side. She had been there for me when the Hawks turned their backs against me and when I wasn't sure if I fitted in with the Ducks. Playing with the Ducks had always made me feel like I was flying. But Penny's spirit created magic on the ice for me.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Charlie's POV  
  
I skated through the gates and stopped in front of Adam. He was so into his thoughts he didn't even look up.  
  
"Hey! Earth to Banks!" I waved my hands in front of his face. He snapped out of the trance.  
  
"Oh.. sorry, didn't see you there Charlie," he said.  
  
"Where were you during practice?" I asked him. "Coach was having a cow. He made us do extra laps coz half the team showed up late."  
  
I winced as I sat on the grass. My back was still sore from the bruises I got from the fall I took during our last game against the Bears. Those guys are brutal and that's saying nothing. Adam didn't answer me.  
  
"What's up man? Whatcha thinking about?" I tried again.  
  
Silence.  
  
I sighed and stretched my legs on the grass. Useless question. I knew he was thinking about Penny again. That was all he ever did these days. I just wanted to make sure he was ok. I leaned back against the tree. Together we stared across the horizon and watched as the sun set behind the hills. 'Hang in there Adam..' I thought inwardly. 'The sun will rise again.'  
  
A/N : Sorry not a very long chapter. Hope you all liked it. Will write more on Charlie and start on Guy in the next chapter.  
  
Katie : Yeah.. I have a sister too and we're really close. Thanks for the reviews and the suggestion!  
  
anne918 : Yes, Penny is Adam's sister. I'm not sure if it'll be an Adam/Julie fic. Decide as more chapters come up. Anyways, thanks for reviewing! Hope you enjoyed the story! 


	4. If Looks Could Kill

Guy's POV  
  
"Yo Germaine, dude! You not gonna tell on us to your aunt are ya?" Portman snickered, eyeing Helen who now had a HUGE stain down the back of her top. I socked him on the head.  
  
"Owww.. now I'm so hurt. Two in one night," he chided again and burst into his loud guffaws. My cousin gave him the evil eye only to receive a wink from the big guy.  
  
She glanced hesitantly at him for a second, as if racking her racing mind to come up with the appropriate comeback. A shy smile flickered across her face. It lasted only for a second and was gone in a flash. But it was definitely a smile. Woah. Do I detect something here? Portman watched her intently as she entered her room.  
  
"Did you see that? Did you see that? The big guy, taking on lover boy's cousin," Averman jestered and slapped me on the back.  
  
"Yeah.. I think she's got it in for you. Looks like you're in for the gold mine man.." Russ added.  
  
"So what do you say? Family?" Portman pretended to give me a hug.  
  
"If you're brave enough to face my aunt," I reminded him.  
  
A week ago we had all gotten together at my house just to hang. Everyone decided to stay over since my parents were taking a trip down south and wouldn't be back for at least a week. My cousin and Luis had ended up in a little rough tumble on the floor when we were messing around when the door opened. My aunt was standing on the front porch decked with four suitcases and a look which could kill you on the spot. Helen quickly untangled herself from Luis and stood up awkwardly.  
  
"Ma, what are you doing here? Why aren't you back at home?" she demanded.  
  
"And I suppose you think that would be convenient for you at this point, right? my aunt eyed Luis from head to toe.  
  
The disapproval expression made it clear that she thought Luis a bug, a dirty little bug meant only to be squashed to death. Maybe he would have been if Helen hadn't set the record straight with her, resulting into a tremendous blowup about "responsibilities" and "discipline". I'd almost forgotten Aunt Lauren could be so scary. Then again, it'd been almost four years since I last saw her or the rest of the family. She is NOT going to be pleased if she found out about Portman. No, scratch that. The Bash Brother wouldn't even know what hit him. I doubt he'd live to see another day. That's how scary she is.  
  
Speaking of scary. The front door slammed and Julie and Connie barreled in. "Hi guys! Having a little party?" Julie asked.  
  
"No, we just decided to trash up the place," I replied nonchalantly. She snorted a laugh and Connie glared at me. Boy, if looks could kill.  
  
Sigh. This was getting old. We'd broken up over some stupid reason just before we came to Eden Hall and that was like, over a year ago. She said something about "making other commitments" and about our relationship being old and "not what it used to be". Talk about lame excuses. She was the one who brought it up but acted like I'd been the one who had done something wrong. I was getting sick of everything. Treating me like she barely knew me, ignoring me in the hallways, in class and at practice if she could. I trudged back to my room.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Helen's POV  
  
I couldn't believe what I just did. Since when did I smile at Dean Portman? No, let me rephrase that. Since when had I stopped chewing the guy's ears out every time I see him? Geez... that feels weird. Too weird.  
  
I closed my eyes as the water blasted from the showers. Stupid soda. There's no way the stain's coming out. Why did I have to wear white? I don't go well in bright colors anyway. Besides, white is boring. Should've gone with Julie's advice on the brown jacket. At least the orange won't show up that much. Yeah, brown. Remember that for tomorrow. Brown.  
  
A pair of soft brown eyes stared back at me. It came closer and closer and I felt a soft brush against my lips. Who was this? The face came into focus. Dean Portman??!??! I opened my eyes in shock. Where did that come from??? No, not happening. Not in this lifetime. No way.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Guy's POV  
  
"Hey Charlie," I looked up as my door slammed.  
  
"Hey," he replied half-heartedly and crawled into his bed next to mine.  
  
"What's up? Why the long face?" I sat up and faced him.  
  
"Nahhh.. It's Banks. He's still not out of it. Been spacing out again. Just had a little chat with him. Can't seem to forget what happened," he shook his head.  
  
"That bad huh?" I laid down on my bed again. All this drama going on. For the past few games, we could tell Adam wasn't there. He was there, but not really. His eyes had a hollow, empty look about them and the way he shuffled around on the ice spelled clearly that his heart wasn't in the game. He moved robotically, like some puppet being controlled mechanically, like he was dead to the world. He'd been scoring less and less. It drove Coach crazy though he understood the situation. The rest of us had been trying hard to make up for his poor game. Even so, we had come close to losing a few. Adam was the best. Always been. All the extra training in the world couldn't make you half as good as he is.  
  
"Hey Captain, are we - " a voice called out and stopped abruptly. It was Connie. "Never mind, I'll come back later," she said coldly and snapped the door shut. To me, it sounded like a slap in the face. And it hurt, real bad.  
  
"What was that about?" Charlie asked with curiosity.  
  
"Nothing." Desperate as I was, I didn't want anyone butting into my problems, even if it were Charlie.  
  
"I know something's up. You two have been at each other's throats since we got here. I just wished I'd asked you about it earlier. Spill it, Germaine."  
  
"Quit it, Charlie. It's none of your business." I rolled over to face the wall and turned my back on him. Charlie was sounding more and more like Coach Bombay and it irked me. I mean, I know he's the captain, but that didn't mean he had to know every single detail of our private lives. Damn him. Damn her. Damn love. Damn it all.  
  
A/N : Thanks for the reviews everyone! Sorry to keep you waiting. Exams coming up soon. There'll be more after that, promise.  
  
anne918 : Thanks for the review! Helen is Guy's cousin not his sister. Sorry if I didn't make that clear in the second chapter. Have fun reading! =)  
  
Katie : Thanks for the review! Keep reading! There's more to come =)  
  
KShyne99 : Glad you like it! Stick around for more. Hope you liked this chapter! =) 


	5. Who Do You Think You Are!

Charlie's POV  
  
When I woke up the next morning my body was sore all over. Darn it. The injury was really starting to kick in. I'll have to see if Dean would let me off classes today so I could make it to practice if I get enough rest.  
  
"Come off it! You were the one who started this!" came an angry voice from the hallway.  
  
"Yeah right! You're just a pathetic loser who can't accept the facts! So take that!" a second voice yelled twice as loud as the first.  
  
I turned over and covered my head with a pillow. Who's making all that racket?  
  
"Why are you doing this to me? What went wrong? You never explained!"  
  
"What's wrong? YOU'RE what's wrong! Why don't you just - "  
  
"What the hell is going on here?" someone else cut in.  
  
"What y'all doing? Is it time for practice?" a sleepy voice intervened.  
  
"You two stay out of this!"  
  
I have had enough! I pulled on my jeans and Duck jersey and stormed out of the room.  
  
"But if you could just be -"  
  
"Don't tell me what I should -"  
  
"Shut the hell up! Enough! What the heck has gotten into you two??" I hollered at the top of my voice. Connie and Guy frowned at each other and looked away. Behind them I could see Kenny, who was easily the quietest amongst us besides Adam, glaring at the both of them and next to him was a very confused Dwayne. Kenny looked really mad. But I was madder.  
  
"Will you tell me already? What's up with the both of you?" I yelled again.  
  
"Well, he was being a big baby over -" Connie started.  
  
"At least I'm not the one who's going around dumping -"  
  
"Quiet!!!!!!!!!!!!! Look, I don't care whose fault it is. Either settle it in a CIVILIZED manner -" I stressed, "or just forget about it!! It's been going on long enough so will you two just grow up already!!" I crossed my arms and scowled menacingly.  
  
The pair of them mumbled somewhat unintelligently and left. In separate ways. Kenny looked at me, "You know, I think they would've gone on all morning if you hadn't said something. I'm going back to catch some more sleep" he closed his door.  
  
Sigh. I definitely have to try and get to class today. My body still hurt real bad but it looks as if the two won't be able to go through the day without killing each other. And we're having practice this afternoon, which made things worse. There's a whole list of things I could think of that would pass off as an accident but could also at the same time damage someone. Permanently. There's enough resentment between the two of them to start the team off in a really big fight on the ice. Ducks fly together. Hah. At this rate, there won't be even a feather left by the time semester ends. I'm not going to let that happen to my team.  
  
"What's all the fuss 'bout Charlie? Do ya think they'll stop being mad at each other? They've always been so cute together. Ain't it depressing -"  
  
"Dwayne, if you don't shut up I'll give you a reason to be depressed," I glowered at him.  
  
"Errr.. right on," and he scrambled off to bed.  
  
All this is giving me a headache.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Connie's POV  
  
Who does he think he is? Yelling at me like that. I knew there had to be a reason why I broke up with that stupid idiot. If he hadn't been so sickeningly annoying and disgusting and ugly and - Argh!!!!!!!!!! I kicked a couple of soda cans out of the way and they battered against the lockers. This is so frustrating! It's all his fault! Why won't he just leave me alone?!  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Guy's POV  
  
I can't believe her!!! Shouting at me like that. How I put up with that temper of hers for so many years, I'm beginning to wonder. If she wasn't so unbelievably unreasonable and difficult and irrational and - Damn!!!!!!!!! I slammed my hands on the classroom table and echoes bounced off against the walls. This is so confusing! It's all her fault! Why won't she speak to me?!  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Helen's POV  
  
I sat in bed listening to the argument outside. I'd woken up ever since Connie came out of the bathroom. I'm a really light sleeper the slightest sound woke me. When the voices died down I got up to open the door and peeked outside. I watched as Charlie stormed down the hallway.  
  
"They're at it again huh?" I asked him.  
  
"Don't even get me started. My body's really sore. I'm gonna get more rest before everyone else wakes up."  
  
He looked really tired to me for the first time. I could see baggy circles under his eyes and his whole body looked as if it'd undergone way too much pressure.  
  
"Hey, you know what? Why don't I give you a massage? You look really worn out," I offered.  
  
"A - a - massage??" He looked positively terrified at the prospect.  
  
"Yeah.. I used to help my dad do that when he came back from his -. Never mind. Anyway, you'll feel much better after I'm done. Promise."  
  
"Errr.. ok.. I guess.. Come on in." He hesitated for a moment before lying down on his bed.  
  
"It's the other way round, Charlie," I tried not to laugh. The poor guy obviously wasn't sure of what he was doing.  
  
"Oh, right," he looked embarrassed and turned face down. I was right. I could feel the pressure under my hands as I worked on his shoulders. He'd been through a lot lately, what with Adam's situation and also trying to keep the team together. My cousin and Connie weren't exactly easy to handle either.  
  
"Relax. I've done this before lots of times," I assured him. There was a few seconds of silence as I worked on the massage. The back of his neck looked really tensed up. I pressed hard on it. Charlie yelped.  
  
"Sorry, did that hurt?" I stopped.  
  
"Nah.. just a little ticklish."  
  
"Hey, you reckon those two will patch things up soon? They're driving me crazy." I complained.  
  
"Don't count on it. The last time they argued, it took me 8 months to get them back together," he said and I watched his muscles tighten up again.  
  
I sighed. "Charlie maybe you should let them deal with their own problems. You can't handle everything by yourself. You have your own life to deal with," I preached.  
  
"You don't get it Helen.. This is my life. The Ducks are my life. I'm captain. I have to make sure they're doing ok. Ever since District 5 through to Team USA and then Orion and Varsity, it's always been like that. Ducks fly together. It has to stay that way. Nothing has changed, and nothing's going to change. I'm going make sure that," he said in a finalizing tone.  
  
"Alright.. if you feel that way. Just take care of yourself ok?" I told him. I guess that's one of the reasons why I admired Charlie. Putting himself before anyone else. He really, truly cared about the team. Always on the look out for all twelve of them, and that's saying nothing. He had such a strong will and great determination. I knew he felt responsible for the team. But I just wished he'd look after himself more.  
  
A/N : Another chapter sooner than I thought. Thanks to all reviewers, Katie, anne918, KShyne99 and crazy4nc128!! Hope you enjoyed this next chapter! 


	6. Secrets, Rejection and a Little Help

A/N : Another chapter up! My longest yet. Thanks to all my reviewers! You guys are great! =) Sorry bout Guy's and Connie's breakup Katie. I need that to build up my plot for later in the story. Anyways, hope everyone enjoys this next one!  
  
Helen's POV  
  
I settled in my seat at the back of the class. I was early, as usual. Only another student was in class. Another long period of math to endure. I'm pretty good at the subject, but being good at it doesn't mean that I like it. Luis, Russ and Averman strolled into class with Dwayne behind them looking like he hadn't slept for months. He slumped into the seat behind me. I turned around and poked him on the arm.  
  
"Go away mom. The cattle can wait for a lil' while," he mumbled. I stifled a laugh. Just then Mrs. Morton marched in, books in hand.  
  
"Good morning class."  
  
"Morning." The room filled with mindless chatter and greetings. She rapped on the table for attention.  
  
"Now, before we began, I have an -"  
  
Running steps thundered down the hall and Charlie crashed into the desk beside the door. "Sorry, I'm - err - late," he gasped for breath, clinging onto the desk to keep himself from keeling over.  
  
"You're late young man and might I remind you that it is not the first time," Mrs. Morton said sternly. "One last time and it's detention for you. I expect my students to arrive on time for class."  
  
"No - I mean, yes, ma'am," he replied, looking flustered and walked to his seat beside me.  
  
"Nice going Spazway," Russ snickered.  
  
"Thought you had a problem keeping yourself straight on the ice Spaz, seems like you're having problems with two feet on the ground too," Luis winked and gave Russ a high-five.  
  
"Shut it, Mendoza! You -"  
  
"Ahem"  
  
They stopped bickering. "Do we have a problem here gentlemen?" Mrs. Morton raised her voice dangerously.  
  
"No ma'am."  
  
"Good. Now I was saying, before being rudely interrupted -" casting the guys a pointed look, "classes will be ending early on Friday so everyone is expected to turn up for the hockey game against the Lions."  
  
The Lions were the team's toughest rivals. They played mean hockey and the Ducks lost 4-1 during their last game against them. Charlie cast me a worried glance. With Adam still out of it, it looked like they were in for another disastrous showdown.  
  
I opened my text book to the right page and tried to pay attention. Scribbles and scratching of pens filled the room as the talking died down. Halfway through class the door creaked open. Several heads looked up. It was Adam. I glanced at the seat across my right. I hadn't even noticed he wasn't here when class started.  
  
Mrs. Morton glared at him. "Where have you been for the past half hour young man? I do not appreciate tardiness from students in my class."  
  
He didn't even look up and mumbled "Sorry," before shuffling to his seat. Charlie and I looked at each other and back at Adam who looked as though he were in a trance. Charlie tried anxiously to catch his attention but I could see Adam was lost to the world. 'That's it,' I thought. 'It's time he snapped out of it.'  
  
************************************************************************  
  
I walked to the rink late that afternoon. I had nothing better to do so I thought I'd watch the Ducks practice. I sat on the bleachers waiting patiently. The practice wouldn't start for another half hour. I watched as the cold mist rose from the ice. When I was young, I used to play with the snow as Dad trained with my brother on the pond. He was a superb player. I remembered the various articles reporting him to be one of the best players in the entire nation. He tried to get me interested in the game, but I was hopeless on the ice. No matter what he did, I'd slip and fall and hurt myself. Mom put a stop to his attempt after a particularly bad fall when I broke my arm. Dad never got Annie to try it after that. Mom was too protective and Annie was so small in size. Dad said she'd never make it because she'd be thrashed around in every game she played.  
  
But my brother was different. Dad was so proud when he made it into the NHL. They offered him a spot on the Waves even before he finished college. Dad fought hard to get him drafted into his own team, the Storms because he wanted his son to play alongside him. Then four years ago, after their first win in the preliminaries, Ian got involved in an accident. The huge impact of the crash killed him on the spot. In a way, the accident killed Dad as well. He dropped out of the team and we moved to Ohio. He wanted to leave all memories of Ian behind. None of the Ducks knew about this, except Guy. Besides, I was never alone because I had Annie.  
  
"Click."  
  
I snapped out of my thoughts. I saw a lone figure skating out onto the ice. It was a guy. But I couldn't place who he was. He sprinted with much aggression and speedily like a spirit of winds. The blades contacted sharply against the smooth surface of the ice. He spun and skated towards the opposite direction and I spotted his number. 99. Adam. That caught me by surprise. I had never seen him in such a fierce and forceful manner. His feet whipped out beneath him in lightning movements as he moved with a heated grace around and around the rink. The intensity grew after every completed circle till I was afraid he was going to explode from the pressure then he sank to the ground suddenly in an anguish cry.  
  
I stood up quickly, unsure of what to do. I couldn't let him find out I had been watching him, but what if he was hurt?  
  
"Why?? Of all the people.. why did it have to be you Penny.. why.." he cried out.  
  
It was then my heart broke. I could see the pain in his body. Every bit of him was hurting, from his soul to his eyes. His tormented cries subsided into quiet sobbing. I had never seen anyone so lonely before.  
  
"Bang!!"  
  
Doors slammed and the other Ducks piled out of the locker room. I watched as Adam quickly got up and wiped his tears away.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Julie's POV  
  
"Hey Banks! Watcha lying on the floor for?" Russ asked Adam as he scrambled from the ground.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
As I skated nearer to him I noticed his red eyes. I nudged at Charlie.  
  
"Banksie's been crying again," I told him.  
  
"Yeah, I've noticed that too," he said knowingly. "He was late this morning to class. You know how it is, he's never late for anything."  
  
I felt guilty. Obviously Adam had a lot on his mind and I was too preoccupied by everything else I'd forgotten to check on him. We haven't spoken much since that night. He withdrew from me every time I brought it up. He used to tell me everything, every worry he had, his problems with his dad, his worries about hockey and we used to spend every night together, trying to get through our homework and the extra subjects that only both of us were taking. Quiet as he was, he always cheered me up when I felt down. He had something different, something special about him which caught my attention the first time I saw him.  
  
Those sea blue eyes helped express the emotions he always kept hidden from his face. They emitted in fury after each fight with his father and sparkled with love and passion every time he mentioned Penny. But those emotions were gone. The soulful eyes I fell in love with had a blank, hollow look which seem to go on and on forever through a long black hole that led to his heart. They were empty.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Adam's POV  
  
I instantly regretted shutting Julie out at the beginning of practice when she looked down-cast. But I had a lot on my mind and I needed to be alone. Nobody would understand what I'm going through. They acted like they did, but they never will.  
  
"Hey, mind if I join you?"  
  
I looked up and saw a familiar face staring at me concernedly. It was that girl cousin of Guy's, Helen or something like that.  
  
"Yeah," I replied. I scooted over to make room for her under the cool shade of trees. I didn't really want to but I don't really know this girl so I couldn't exactly tell her to go away.  
  
"You come here often?" she asked.  
  
"Sometimes." She was watching me intently. I could tell. I stared determinedly ahead to avoid looking at her. There was a long pause of silence. I looked sideways to catch a glimpse of her. She was lying on the grass with her eyes closed, looking very peaceful. I wish I could. She opened her eyes suddenly and smiled at me. I looked away.  
  
"You know, I miss my brother so much. He used to bring me around places when my parents were too busy. He teased me a lot but it was good fun."  
  
"Where's your brother now?" I asked.  
  
"He died in a car accident four years ago. That's why Dad made us move to Ohio. He didn't want to be reminded of what happened," she smiled sadly.  
  
I felt taken aback. I'd never heard Julie talking about it. In fact, it seemed almost like they didn't have a clue of whatsoever. And yet here she was, telling me about it and I barely knew her. I wondered what she was getting at.  
  
"Sorry about that," I told her. "I guess it must be hard huh?" I asked out of curiosity. She always seemed happy and at peace, I never would've guessed this about her.  
  
"It was hard at first. I cried many nights. But I know he's always watching over us from somewhere up there," she replied easily and gazed at the sky. I nodded and looked up at the clear blue skies. Was Penny there looking down at me as well?  
  
"What was Penny like? She seemed really nice, I'm just sorry I hadn't gotten to know her better before," she said suddenly.  
  
Again, she surprised me. No one, not even the Ducks had ever spoken to me about Penny so directly before. They knew I was sensitive about the topic. But somehow, I felt comfortable talking about it with this girl. A girl which I had only spoken less than two words to before this.  
  
"She was great. We used to skate around on the pond every evening after I finished practice. I taught her how to and she was a fast learner," I told her.  
  
"You know Adam.. the Ducks are really worried about you. I think maybe you should talk to them. Tell them what's going on in your mind. Especially Julie. She really cares about you. Don't leave her in the dark." She rambled on, "It's been more than three months Adam. I think it's time for you to get back up.. .. .. .. .."  
  
"Wait. Stop it. I thought you understood what I'm going through. But obviously that's not the case."  
  
"Adam, all I'm trying to say is, you don't have to be like this. I'm sure Penny would be sad if she sees you now. I'm sure she would have wanted -"  
  
"You don't know what you're talking about! You don't know Penny like I do," I screamed at her. Who did this girl think she was? Telling me what my sister would've wanted.  
  
"Please, Adam. Listen to me. You have to pull yourself together. I got over my brother, you can -"  
  
"No!! You don't understand! If I hadn't forgotten to check on her that night, she'd still be alive! I'm to blame for her death! You have nothing to feel guilty about! Your brother died in an accident! But I killed my own sister! You'll never understand how that feels!" I took off, my head aching and burning, tears running down my face. I wiped them away furiously. I ran and ran blindly. I didn't know where I was going. All I wanted to do is get away as far as possible. Away from everyone else, away from the pain. I wanted to escape the guilt before it drowned me. 


	7. Pain and Sore

A/N : Hi!! I'm sorry about the long wait. Starting my exams tomorrow and only finish on the 3rd. I won't be updating for until another week so please please please bear with me. Thanks to all for reviewing!  
  
anne918 : Thanks for your ongoing reviews! What you've said has really motivated me. Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this next chapter.  
  
crazy4nc128 : hehehe.. don't worry.. he'll stop blaming himself very soon.. about the couple thing.. I have a plan for all of them.. you'll find out a little in this chapter. But hint : it's going to get more complicated than this. Enjoy!  
  
Adriana3 : Glad you stumbled upon my story.. sorry to keep you (and the others) waiting.. I'll update with a huge chapter next week.. there's something wrong with Charlie that causing him to be tired all the time.. you'll find out soon.. thanks again for the review!  
  
Katie and KShyne Sorry for not updating in a while.. I have some more stuff coming up.. should be interesting =) so keep reading!  
  
Here's the next chapter :  
  
Helen's POV  
  
I stood frozen to the ground. I had never seen a figure as agonized as tortured as Adam. The pain was so real that I could feel it inside me. It was inside me. His pain was inside of me.  
  
"Helen?" someone called out behind me. I spun around to see Charlie standing a distance away. He had heard everything.  
  
"I'm so sorry.. I was just trying to help. I didn't mean for him to -" I said, quivering and shaking uncontrollably. I felt a lump rising in my throat as I tried not to cry.  
  
"Shhh.. it's ok. I know you didn't mean it. It's ok.. I'm here.." he hushed in the softest tones. I sagged into his arms, crying silently. He pressed my head into his chest gently and held me. I pulled away, embarrassed.  
  
"Sorry, I'm being such a sap. But Adam.. he reminded me of what happened. And couldn't help thinking.. my brother.. I never got to say goodbye," I choked down the tears that welled up again.  
  
"Hey, it's ok. You don't have to apologize. I don't know how it feels.. But you can talk to me about it whenever you want to. You don't have to be strong all the time.. Don't keep everything to yourself Helen.. You're not alone.." he grabbed my arms and pulled me in for another hug. This time I didn't resist and let myself lose into his embrace. I felt safe, protected in Charlie Conway's arms. For the first time in Eden Hall, I felt wanted. I wasn't lonely anymore.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Julie's POV  
  
I jumped when a door across the hallway slammed. I heard thuds and bangs as someone pounded on the walls. I got up from my desk and walked to the door.  
  
"Adam? You in there?", I asked tentatively.  
  
"Leave me alone! Go away!"  
  
The walls rattled again as he continued his rampage inside. I panicked. What if he hurt himself? What was he doing?  
  
"Adam! What are you doing inside there? Open the door!" I rapped on his door. "Come on Adam! It's me Julie! Open the -" The door swung open.  
  
"Hi," he greeted me dully and sank into his bed with a sunken look on his face. Dried tears were streaked across his face and his eyes were swollen red. I watched, waiting for him to speak. But it didn't come.  
  
"What happened?" I asked.  
  
"Nothing." He replied with a sullen face.  
  
"Really? Then why have you been crying?"  
  
"Nothing happened Julie. Just leave me alone."  
  
"Adam Banks, don't you dare give me that! I know something happened. So just tell me ok?" I demanded fiercely. It was time he told me everything.  
  
"You don't understand," was his reply.  
  
"Adam! Please! Stop telling me I won't understand! How can I understand if you don't tell me how you feel? I've always cared about you.. and I still do but you're not letting me! Do you know how hard it is for me to see you like this? You're not the Adam I know. The Adam I know is strong- willed and smart. He had girls lining up for him since the day he stepped into school and he played brilliant hockey. I miss that Adam. I miss you." I rattled in frustration.  
  
"Well, why don't you go find him then?"  
  
"Stop it Adam!," I strode over, pulled him up and dragged him outside. He objected strongly but I'd made up my mind. I was going to put a stop to this at once. I dragged him all the way to the harbor.  
  
"Julie, stop! Where are you taking me?" he protested. I ignored him.  
  
"Julie! Please! Stop! You're hurting me."  
  
"Are you ok?" I let go. He was clutching his wrist. In my anger I'd forgotten about his old injury.  
  
"Oh Adam.. I'm sorry. Is the pain still there?" I took his hand gently and rubbed it lightly with my own. He winced. We walked in silence down the planked bridge.  
  
"I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have went off at you like that. You're right, I don't understand what you're going to but I just want you do give me a chance. It really really hurts to see you this way," I told him. "I know you want some time to be alone. But I miss you so much. I've been worried sick when you stopped talking to me," I started crying. "Please.. Let me know what you're thinking.. don't push me away.. please.."  
  
"Oh Julie.. I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry.. I didn't know you were hurting.." he whispered and suddenly, I felt a strong pair of arms wrapped tightly around me. I felt myself sinking into his body as he cradled me. I looked up into his clear blue eyes and suddenly realized, we were at the end of the pier, where we had shared our first kiss almost two years ago.  
  
"I love you Adam.."  
  
"I love you too Jules.." It was the last thing I heard before his lips closed in on mine.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Charlie's POV  
  
I sat nervously in the waiting room. After the episode yesterday evening, I'd brought Helen to my mom's diner. She'd seem much happier after that. I was glad. I'd always been lonely, being the only child. She was like a little sister to me. I admired her in many ways. She was tough. Not physically, but inside. We'd talked a little about her family over dinner. She told me about her brother and what happened. Boy, I was glad in a way it'd always been just me and my mom. I didn't have to worry about anyone else. At least, not until now. I felt a special connection with this girl. She was different. And it seemed like she could help Adam come out of his shell.  
  
"Conway? Charlie Conway?" the nurse called. A wave of dread washed over me again. I'd forgotten about why I was here. I'd decided it was time I find out what's wrong with me. Even though I'd make sure to get enough sleep this week, I'd wake up in the mornings more exhausted than the night before. The sores were becoming unbearable, especially after practice yesterday. A small lump had started to form above the patch of bruises on my knees. I wanted to be in perfect shape for the rest of the season. Nothing's going to keep me from playing my best.  
  
************************************************************************ 


	8. The Date and The Secret

A/N : Hi everyone! Finally another chapter up. I've been having exams up till today, so it's been pretty hectic. I have another one in a couple of days. Thanks everyone for putting up with the delay. Hope you enjoy this next chapter! =) Cheers!  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Portman's POV  
  
Damn! Missed her again! I watched Helen head towards the school building. I'd woken up a bit earlier to walk her to class. She was walking with a new spring in her step this morning. Otherwise, she's always in a bad mood. Or maybe it's just me. She hates me. I know it.  
  
"She doesn't hate you dude.. just do us all a favour and ask her out already," said my Bash Bro.  
  
"Yeah.. you should have seen the look she gave ya few nights ago. If that can't prove she's interested then nothing will, and I'm betting my mouth on that," Russ kidded flashing me his toothpaste grin.  
  
"Be prepared to stay dumb for the next month Tyler. I'm not asking no girl out. Especially her," I retorted. Does the whole world know I got a thing for this girl?  
  
"He's just afraid of being rejected. Portman's scared.. aren't ya?". That came from the King of Slick.  
  
"I ain't scared of no girl Mendoza. You better shut your trap or you got something to be afraid of. Me," I glared menacingly at him. He scrambled.  
  
"Hey man.. calm down. Only joking eh? Besides, you could do better than that. She's not even pretty. With the glasses and books and all. I'll hook you up with someone from the cheer squad. Now they, are what I call REAL girls"  
  
"Don't talk about her like that ok? You don't know her!" I made a move for him. Stupid bastard, talking about her like that.  
  
"Chill dude," Fulton pulled me back.  
  
"Yeah.. sorry, didn't know you're taking this so seriously," he apologized.  
  
"Well.. unlike some -" I glowered at him pointedly, "the rest of us don't change girlfriends every other week."  
  
"You know, Fulton's right. Ask her out. The worst thing that could happen is she'll say no. Don't be a chicken. Come on.. even Kenny man here is up to asking a girl for a date," Russ informed me and patted Kenny on the back as the little guy blushed.  
  
Chicken. No one's calling Portman a chicken.  
  
"Okay. I'm gonna ask her out. By lunch. Not because you guys want me to, but hey, the girl needs a life outside school right? So I'm doing her a favour," I gave in.  
  
Fulton rolled his eyes at Russ. "Hey, I saw that," I started.  
  
"Get on with it already man.. now get outta here before you lose the chick," he said. I darted outside and jogged up quickly into the building. I was finally going to ask this girl out.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Helen's POV  
  
For the first time at Eden Hall I was actually looking forward to classes. I didn't sleep much last night. All I could think about was the warmth of Charlie's arms when they were wrapped around me. I'd never felt like that before. Not even when I was with Matthew. He was my first boyfriend. My only boyfriend to be exact. We were both into the same things. Pop music, romance movies, cheesy novels, you name it.  
  
Charlie? We had nothing in common. He loved Pantera. I hate metal. He was allergic to nuts. I craved peanut butter and stank in hockey. But maybe that's what I needed. Someone different. Matthew and I were so much alike it got boring after a while. It was like a routine every weekend. Pizza, then a movie on Friday night. Saturday spent with our families. Sunday was study day. Everything was predictable, right down to which kind of pizza we were going to have. Nothing ever changed.  
  
I couldn't wait to see Charlie. We have almost all classes together and English was first that morning. I sorted the books in my locker, thinking about that night. He'd made me feel wanted, safe, and most importantly, I knew I'd never have to be lonely again. Because he'd be there for me. At that moment, I heard someone call out my name from behind. 'Finally, here he comes' I thought. I plastered a smile on my face and turned around.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Portman's POV  
  
"Helen!" I called through the rush of students who were trying to get to their lockers. She looked back holding a gigantic smile on her face. I stopped short in front of her. I swear she looked confused for a moment. I gaped, unsure of what to say.  
  
"Uh.. hey.. how's English coming along?" I asked nonchalantly. I wanted to kick myself. 'English?' Where did that come from? And 'Coming along?' I was talking like a prep.  
  
"Errm.. Good I guess. You?" she replied. I stared into her eyes and noticed bright orange specks amongst the vivid green. They were really cool, but at the moment they were making me feel weak in the knees. 'Man.. get a grip of yourself.'  
  
"Pretty good," I fumbled and looked behind her casually, pretending to look for someone. Neither of us spoke until the warning bell rang.  
  
"Well.. I better get to class. You should too," she picked up her books and shut her locker.  
  
"Wait." I said hurriedly. She stopped and looked at me patiently. Here goes nothing.  
  
"Are you free this Friday? Do you wanna hang out after the game? We could catch a movie or something."  
  
"Err.. ok."  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Helen's POV  
  
"Great! Talk to ya later," he said a little too loudly and left. He had a silly grin on his face.  
  
The question took me by surprise. And I'd agreed without thinking. I'd expected to see Charlie. I stood dazed, for a moment and jumped when I felt a tap on my shoulder.  
  
Speaking of the devil. He laughed when he saw my expression.  
  
"What's so funny?" I asked, suddenly feeling irritated. I'd just made the biggest mistake and wasn't in the mood for games.  
  
"You look like you've just seen a ghost," he joked, his eyes twinkling.  
  
"Well, I've been waiting for you for the past half hour," I reminded him grumpily.  
  
"Sorry to keep you waiting. Coach wanted to meet up for some last minute strategizing for the game this Friday. You coming right?"  
  
"Yes. But only because you asked." We strode quickly up the stairs to the fourth level.  
  
"Awww.. how sweet. You know you enjoy it Helen. Stop denying. It's a great sport," he smiled at me. Under normal circumstances, I would have wished that he'd smile at me all day. But at the moment, I was feeling like a big idiot.  
  
"So.. what's up with you and Portman?" he asked inquisitively. I wanted to kick him for being so nosy but I restrained myself. Booting him on the shins would require too many explainations.  
  
"Nothing," I mumbled, trying my best to avoid looking at him.  
  
"You sure? I've known Portman much longer and I'm telling you, I've never seen the dude so happy. He was skipping down the hall Helen. Skipping. And we're talking about Portman here."  
  
"He asked me out and I said yes," I whispered, barely.  
  
"HE ASKED YOU OUT?" he practically screamed. The few late students who were rushing around actually stopped and stared.  
  
"Yeah. Don't shout it out ok? I don't want the whole world to know." I wished the floor would open up and swallow me that instance.  
  
"Sorry," he lowered his voice. "I'm just surprised, that's all. The other guys have been teasing him about it coz he was afraid to do it. So he finally did it huh?" he chuckled.  
  
"It's not funny Charlie." I debated whether or not to tell him that I didn't have feelings for Portman. I opened my mouth to tell him that it was a big mistake when he cut in.  
  
"Don't sound so grumpy. I mean, you agreed right? He's a cool guy. A little rough and loud maybe. But you'll like him, you'll see," he said cheerily and started whistling tunelessly.  
  
I shut my mouth. He didn't even show the slightest hint of jealousy at the thought of me and Portman going out.  
  
At the moment, I felt a sinking sensation in my stomach and the reality sank in. I had no choice, I was going on a date with Portman.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Charlie's POV  
  
I sank into bed after practice. Dead tired. I'd successfully avoided any awkward questions today. But it was tough. Like this morning, I'd told Helen I was late because Coach wanted to talk to me. But I actually had to arrange another appointment with the doctor. The day couldn't have ended soon enough; I was running out of excuses and was tired of acting happy. Nothing's alright now. My life was meaningless. I was afraid of telling people what was going on. They'll freak out and start treating me differently. Some would avoid like I had some kind of disease and talk about me behind my back. The Ducks would sympathize. But if there was one thing I hated most, it was people feeling sorry for me.  
  
I wanted to kill myself when I found out what was wrong with me. The whole day I felt as if the energy was drained from my body. I felt lifeless. Luckily no one had seemed to notice anything yet. Though there were times during practice when I was almost afraid that I'd just drop down dead. I couldn't let people know. No one must know. I couldn't tell my mom. She wouldn't be able to take the news. I must keep it a secret. I could handle this by myself. No one needs to know, that I have cancer. 


	9. Fight and Flight

A/N : Another chapter! I won't be posting for a while after this. One more exam to go next Wednesday and I'll be traveling home (I'm currently abroad now, attending college) and that'll take almost two weeks so I have to do without internet access for that period of time. But I'll still keep on writing so I can promise everyone at least three or four more chapters by the next time I post. Thanks for the ongoing reviews! Keep them flowing~ =) Ok, here's the next chapter.  
  
Guy's POV  
  
I sat stoning in Adam's room and absently flipped at the pages of my chemistry book, waiting for Julie. I still didn't understand. What was it Connie wanted that I couldn't give? What did I do wrong? Why didn't she want me anymore?  
  
No. I had to stop thinking like this. I was beginning to sound like a wimp. 'Get over it man.. it's over. Get on with your life.' But I couldn't. I don't have a life. She was my life.  
  
I heard chattering down the hall, assuming it was Julie and Adam, I stepped outside. I seriously needed Julie's help with my work. I was finding it harder and harder to keep up, what with all these problems in my mind. I stopped dead at the opening to the lounge. A humungous guy was standing there. He looked as if he could take down both Portman and Fulton at one go. He had longish black hair which hung down to his chin. His black sleeveless shirt revealed an ugly-looking tattoo of a skull on his left arm. He had so many piercings they were everywhere. Nose, tongue, ears, even his cheeks. But the worst thing was, he had Connie wrapped in his arms.  
  
When she saw me, I caught a glint of surprise flash across her face. Then, she slowly, and deliberately gave that big goon a kiss, smack on the lips. The idiot pulled her in roughly for another and started groping her. They looked like desperate animals, trying to swallow each other. I felt sick. But I also saw red.  
  
"Get your hands off her!" I lunged at the guy and aimed a punch at his face. He winced and drew back at the hit. 'I hope he feels the pain that I'm feeling' I thought with satisfaction. The next thing I knew I was dangling two feet off the ground. He threw me across the room and I hit the wall hard. A burning pain seared up my body.  
  
"You better watch it kid. She's my girl. You stay away, you get it? Or I'll kill you," he warned me and left. At the corner of my eye, I saw Connie hesitate then head back to her room without a backward glance. Damn it. I groaned and rolled over. Now my head was feeling dizzy. The front door opened. Julie and Adam stopped mid-laughter when they saw me.  
  
"Oh my god! Guy. What happened?" Julie exclaimed. I felt blood trickling down the side of my mouth.  
  
"We saw a guy storming away just now. Did he do this to you?" Adam asked concernedly. I nodded in reply, only to make my head throb. I felt as if it would burst any moment.  
  
"What was he doing here?"  
  
"Connie was with him."  
  
"WHAT!? Connie? That guy looked like he should be locked up or something. What was she thinking!?" Julie looked shocked, as did Adam.  
  
"Didn't she try to stop him?"  
  
"No," I replied weakly. And as I said it, I felt the greatest pain, even greater than those I could feel all over my body. My heart was aching for the only girl I loved, had turned her back against me.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Julie's POV  
When I saw the hurt look in Guy's eyes I crashed into my room leaving Adam to tend to Guy. I could not believe Connie! She's gone too far this time. I found her lying in bed, pretending to be asleep.  
  
"What -" I punctuated, "do you think you were doing??!?!??" I screamed. She flung the sheets over and sat up.  
  
"Keep out of my business Julie," she said coldly.  
  
"What's gotten into you? Do you know who that guy is? He got kicked out of Eden Hall last year for bashing his own brother! What were you doing with that maniac??" I knew I could probably be heard by everyone in the building but I didn't care. I wanted to knock some senses into her.  
  
"I know perfectly well who I'm going out with," she stood up and leveled with me, eye to eye.  
  
"Did you see what he did to Guy? Why didn't you stop him?" I yelled in her face.  
  
I knew I had struck a sensitive cord. At the mention of Guy, she turned away. "He deserved it. He's just a stupid idiot," she said after a moment's pause, as if to convince herself.  
  
"He punched Chris first. And I don't need him breathing down my neck every second of my life. I'm sick of it. I can do better than him. And.. and.. he can find someone else. It's time he gets a new life," she continued unfeelingly.  
  
Just then Guy walked by the room with Adam supporting him. He cast Connie a hurtful glance but she refused to look at him.  
  
I felt my anger rise up again. "It's you who needs a new life. You're not the Connie I know anymore. You're insane," I spat and left.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Helen's POV  
  
"You're not concentrating hard enough Helen. You were supposed to go back up to the third bar here-", Mr. Lee stressed, "and then jump straight to the ending from there. Start again from here," my saxophone instructor pointed somewhere on the script.  
  
"At four counts," he said and I glanced panicky at the paper, trying to recall his instructions.  
  
"And ah-one, two, three and four," he tapped. I started playing from a random line.  
  
"Stop, stop, stop! Were you listening to me? I said bar 53, not 63," he scolded.  
  
I couldn't do it. My concentration was shot. I had a huge problem in my hands. There was no way I could go out with Portman. I didn't like him. It would be wrong. I had to tell him. But how? How could I tell him without hurting him? I didn't want to go out with him, but I didn't want to cause trouble as well. I'd been coming up with excuses since yesterday but nothing came to mind. I just wasn't good at lying. He'd see through me. That's it. I'll tell Charlie. He'll help me tell Portman.  
  
Mr. Lee sighed with exasperation again. "I can see we're not going to get this tonight. Pack your things and you may leave. We'll continue next week. And this time, make sure you practice," he said sternly.  
  
I cleaned my saxophone and put it back into the case. I walked back quickly to the dorm. It was quiet, which was surprising, considering that the level of noise the guys were capable of never ceased to tune down until way beyond curfew, or at least not until Mr. Landler, the RA turned up and it was only 9 p.m. They must be out.  
  
I stopped outside Adam's room. I'd apologized to him after what happened that day. He seemed to be feeling much better these few days, but I wanted to make sure all the same. I knocked.  
  
"Come in," a girl's voice called out.  
  
I opened the door to find Julie and Adam sitting on the floor and Guy in Adam's bed. It looked like he'd been in a big fight and that surprised me. Guy was usually so easy-going, he wouldn't pick on fights. He had a large cut down his left cheek and a big bruise on his forehead. I couldn't see properly in the dim lights but it looked like he had a cut on his lip as well. All along his chest were black and blue swollen marks.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Some guy Connie was dating threw Guy against the wall," Adam explained.  
  
I winced. "He must be brutal. What's Connie doing with him?"  
  
"Beats me. I better warn you first coz we're both living with a crazy person," Julie said grumpily. I could sense that she and Connie had just finished quarreling. I was determined not to get in the middle of it, though my instincts told me Connie was probably in the wrong. She must be mad to go out with a guy as mean as that, especially one that hurt Guy.  
  
"Don't let my mom know ok? I don't want her to worry. It's nothing, really. Just a bit scratched up, that's all," Guy said to me.  
  
"Yeah.. don't worry. I won't tell." I reassured him.  
"We should probably do some work too. You can stay here tonight. I'll let Charlie know I'll be rooming with him. Get a good rest and try not to think about it," Adam said as he and Julie got up.  
  
"I'll tell him. I was just about to find him anyway," I called out. Adam nodded and they both left.  
  
"You ok?" I asked Guy tentatively. I was afraid he would blow up.  
  
"Yeah.. just a little sore," he turned over to face the wall behind him. I took the hint that he didn't want to talk about it.  
  
"Well.. I guess I'll go see if Charlie's back. Take it easy Guy.. see you in the morning." I shut the door behind me quietly.  
  
I knocked softly on Charlie's door. Nobody answered. I opened it slowly. No one. I stepped in and sat on Guy's bed. I glanced through Charlie's side of the room. There were posters of the Anaheim Mighty Ducks adorned on the wall above his table. A pile of books and scraps of paper hid the surface of his table. His cupboard wasn't closed properly so I got up to shut it. As I grabbed the handle, I glanced into the cupboard. They were empty. Strange. Where were his clothes?  
  
I searched under his bed for his suitcase. It was gone. I rummaged around some more for his hockey jerseys. They were his prized possessions. He wouldn't go anywhere without them. I found nothing. I went to his table and saw a note with the words hastily scribbled on :  
  
To : the Ducks and Helen.  
  
I'm sorry. I have to leave. I just found out something and I couldn't bring myself to tell all of you. I'm going to a place where you'll never find me again. I'm ok, but please don't look for me. It's better if no one knows what's happening. Please let my mom know. Tell her not to worry, I'll be better off in another place. Guy, don't give up. She'll come back to you soon. Connie, he's a great guy. You're going to regret it if you don't get back together. Don't fight anymore, and this is an order from your captain. Adam, promise me you'll stay strong. I need you to lead the team. Helen, remember, you're not alone. You have the Ducks with you. Don't keep everything to yourself. To the rest of you guys.. and Julie.. keep the spirit going. Ducks fly together.  
  
Charlie.  
  
I sank to the bed in shock. I felt numb. He'd left us. Charlie was gone. No, I couldn't let him. He couldn't have gone too far yet. I dashed outside. Where would he go? The pond popped into my mind. He wouldn't leave without visiting the pond first. I ran quickly down the street. I must hurry. I couldn't let him run away. Not when I knew I loved him. I saw a lone figure standing at the edge of the pond. To my relief, it was him. Without thinking I ran up to him and hugged him from behind.  
  
"Helen! What are you doing here?" I ignored his question.  
  
"Don't go away Charlie. I won't let you. Tell me what's wrong. I'll help you. You don't have to run away," I cried into his chest as he turned me around.  
  
"Please Charlie.. Don't leave me.. I wanted to tell you. I don't like Portman.. not in that way.. I wasn't thinking.. it just happened in a sudden. I can't go out with him because I'm in love with someone else.. I'm in love with you.." I blurted out and gazed up at him. I could see tears streaming down his face as well. He looked overwhelmed by my words.  
  
"I'm sorry.. I - can't.. it's not right. I.. I have cancer.. I may not live for long.. you deserve better," he said, his voice breaking.  
  
"No! Don't say that.. I don't care if you'll be gone in a month, a week.. or tomorrow.. I love you no matter what happens.. You can't stop me Charlie.. don't.." I told him and I meant every word I said. I couldn't live not knowing what'd happened to him if he ran away.  
  
"You can't love me Helen.. I'll be gone anytime.." but he was smiling both gently and yet sadly at me this time. Then he leaned in closer and closer till I'd lost myself in the green of his eyes. He kissed me softly, tenderly. My arms slide around his neck and I felt his arms encircling my waist, pulling me even closer. Our tears meshed as he kissed me again and again and again.. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. 


	10. A New Beginning

Charlie's POV  
  
I felt all warm inside. No one had ever told me she loved me before other than mom. Not even Linda. I laid in bed thinking about Helen. I'd thought of her as someone more like a sister but it was obvious that she felt differently and somehow, she'd managed to make me feel the same way too. When we hugged, she told me I gave her protection but it felt like the other way round. At that point, she felt so peaceful in my arms, soothing my worries and troubles. Every doubt that I had simply flew away that instant.  
  
"Hey.." It was Helen standing at the door.  
  
"Can I come in?" she asked timidly.  
  
"Sure," I patted on the bed space beside me. She flopped down and closed her eyes and I closed mine, enjoying the comfortable silence.  
  
"What are you smiling about?"  
  
I opened them again. "Was I?" She was smiling at me.  
  
"I love watching you smile. Better than that temper of yours," she pulled a long face at me. I laughed out loud and whacked her with my pillow. She screamed indignantly and started tickling me.  
  
"I didn't know you were that ticklish," she said between laughs.  
  
"I'll show you ticklish," I gasped for breath and grinned at her.  
  
"Uh-oh.." she made a move to get up. I pinned her hands down to her sides and attacked her.  
  
"Arghh! Stop it! It.. It's too.. much.." she protested and I let her off. We sank into the bed, exhausted.  
  
"Charlie?"  
  
"Yeah?" I reached for her hand and held it against my chest.  
  
"I think we should keep this a secret," she said quietly.  
  
"You mean.. us? Why?"  
  
"How do you think Portman will take it?"  
  
"Oh," I hadn't even thought about that. "Well.. we could just tell him right?"  
"I think I should be the one to tell him. Let's just keep it a secret first ok? At least until after the date," she said.  
  
"You're still planning to go on that date?" I sat up and looked at her.  
  
"Well.. do you think you could actually.. drop by wherever we're going?" she asked hopefully.  
  
"Yeah.. I could.. drop by," I smiled at the prospect. She got up.  
  
"I think I should head to bed. Today's been.. a bit too interesting," she yawned, "Not that it didn't turn out to be perfect," she added shyly.  
  
"Remember.. about my problem.. it's just between you and me ok?" I reminded her and kissed her softly.  
  
"Oh.. I almost forgot," she stopped at the door, "Adam will be rooming with you tonight. Guy got into a fight. He'll be sleeping at Adam's."  
  
"What happened?" That surprised me. Guy and fight are two words that don't usually go together in a sentence.  
  
"I'll tell you about it tomorrow. You have enough on your mind already. I told you before Charlie.. stop worrying about everyone else.. get some sleep ok?" she said sweetly.  
  
"Thanks.. I know you're worried about me.. I'll be fine," I pulled her in for another kiss and she left.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Guy's POV  
  
"And he scores! Adam Banks is finally back in the game and boy, is he giving the Lions a hard time on the ice tonight," the commentator shouted over the noisy celebration.  
  
I watched as the crowd did a wave around the bleachers. Coach Orion had benched me for the game when he saw my bruises. I didn't have the energy to argue, and in a way I was glad. I needed a break from everything. The problem with Connie was weighing me down.  
  
"Ouch! That must hurt. And Moreau goes down into the ice after a brutal check from number 68 Kingsley."  
  
Connie was up in an instant and made a move at the guy that had checked her. I watched in disbelief as she lifted her stick and started hitting him from the back.  
  
"Pheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!" the whistle sounded. "Young lady, that was totally uncalled for. You're out of the game," the referee led her out. Coach frowned and pursed his lips tightly but he didn't say anything when she passed by the box. I could tell she was going to get it later.  
  
I still couldn't believe what I'd just seen. There seemed to be something different about everyone lately and it's not just me.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Helen's POV  
  
"Go Adam!" I screamed at the top of my voice as he scored his second goal. The girl beside me cast me a weird look but I ignored her. I was feeling very excited. Adam was playing very well, definitely much better since the past few months. I was glad things took a turn for him. I watched as Portman and Fulton checked a player against the wall. I still had something else to settle. Portman.  
  
I'd wanted to keep Charlie and I a secret partly because I was afraid of how he would react but also because I wasn't sure how things would turn out between us. It would seem strange if Charlie and I were suddenly a couple. I'd never told anyone about my feelings for Charlie. Not even Julie or Connie.  
  
The game ended. The Ducks won, 3 to 0. Needless to say, Adam's recovery gave everyone else on the team renewed spirit. All of them played really well tonight with the exception of Guy. But it was for the best I guess. I could tell he seriously needed a break.  
  
I waited patiently outside the locker rooms. The babble of noises increased as the team piled out into the already chaotic hallway.  
  
"Hey babe," Portman greeted me. I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Don't call me -" I started.  
  
He threw his hands up in defense. "Ok ok.. don't hurt me," he kidded. I saw Charlie walking towards us.  
  
"So.. where are we going?" I asked Portman quickly.  
  
"I thought maybe we could grab a bit at Piz n' Tac and then catch the late night movie at Cineplex. That ok with you?"  
  
"Sure.." I raised my eyebrows questioningly towards Charlie who was standing a few feet away. He winked and gave me a thumbs-up sign.  
  
Portman and I walked the 15 minutes down town. I wanted to get to the café as soon as possible. I didn't know how to deal with a quiet Portman. It was easier when we were bickering. We slide into a booth by the window at the café. I glanced outside anxiously. There were no signs of Charlie since we left the rink. I was beginning to wonder if he'd gotten the place correct while eavesdropping on the earlier conversation.  
  
"So.. tell me something 'bout yourself.." said Portman after we'd placed our orders.  
  
"Umm.. what do you wanna know?"  
  
"I don't know.. random stuff.. like.. what's your favourite food.. colour.. sport?" he quizzed.  
  
"Well.. I love peanut butter.."  
  
"Peanut butter? Seriously? That stuff's got a weird smell," he wrinkled his nose.  
  
"How about you? What's your favourite food?" I figured I'd at least try to make conversation with him. He didn't seem like a bad guy. Just not my type.  
  
"Pizza," he replied. I should've guessed that.  
  
The café door burst open and Charlie, Julie, Adam, Guy, Russ, Ken and practically the rest of the team walked in. But Connie was no where in sight.  
  
"Look what we have here.. Mr. Big Guy with his date," Russ slapped Portman on the back.  
  
"You guys wanna join us?" I said quickly.  
  
"I don't really think that would be -" Ken started saying.  
  
"No, really. It's ok," I finished for him, avoiding Portman's eyes.  
  
"Well.. if the pretty lady insists," Luis replied smoothly and made a beeline for the nearest seat. The waitress got us another table and the whole team joined in.  
  
"Sorry for crashing your date," Ken whispered apologetically beside me.  
  
"It's ok. No big deal. The more the merrier," I said, sounding maybe a little too cheerful.  
  
Guy raised his glass of OJ, "Here's to Adam," and Averman added, "and many more of his goals to come." Adam glowered good-naturedly at him and we all cracked up. I felt a light squeeze on my hand. Char smiled into the air in front of him. I gave a small smile at the corner of my mouth. The night was getting better and better already.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Portman's POV  
  
Great. My first date and my teammates had to turn it into some party. I fumed silently as I walked Helen home. We'd decided to skip the movie. I suddenly wasn't into it anymore anyway. I cast a sideward glance at Helen. She wasn't the prettiest girl around. A little on the curvy side and not too tall. She was a brain, always taking her work way too seriously and she wore these thick-prescripted lenses which hid her eyes, which was by far the best feature she had. But there was something different, something special about her. She was everything I wasn't. Caring, down-to-earth, sensible but not bossy or a snob.  
  
We stopped short at her front door.  
  
"So.. thanks for the date," she said after moments of awkward silence. I debated whether to kiss her or just settle for a goodbye.  
  
"Well.. I guess I'll see you around," I said finally.  
  
"Yes. Thanks again," she replied and opened the door. I turned and walked down the stairs.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Helen's POV  
  
"Portman wait," I called out before I could change my mind. He deserved to know the truth about me and Charlie. I couldn't let him think that there was hope for us. After tonight's date, I'd realized that he wasn't really a bad guy. Like Charlie told me, a little loud and rough, but an okay guy really.  
  
"I have something to tell you," I paused and looked him in the eye. "Charlie. I like Charlie."  
  
"I'm sorry. I should've told you earlier," I said hurriedly. He stared at the ground and seemed to be thinking hard. I held my breath. Was he going to explode? Did I do the right thing about coming clear with him?  
  
After what seemed like ages, he looked up. "I guess I understand. Charlie's a great guy. You deserve someone like him," he said silently.  
"I think you're a great guy too Portman. You'll find a girl who's better for you. I really like you, just not in that way," I assured him.  
  
"Yeah.. thanks for letting me know. Friends?"  
  
"Of course," I said and hugged him.  
  
"Good luck with you and Charlie," he smiled sadly.  
  
"Do you think you could keep it a secret? I don't really want anyone to know just yet."  
  
"Sure. Well.. see ya," and he left. I gave a sigh a relief. That went pretty well. I just hoped everything else would be just as smooth sailing.  
  
************************************************************************ 


	11. Getting to Know You

Adam's POV  
  
I tugged at the bag strap that was digging into my shoulders. I had a lot to catch up on. I'd decided to get a start with my research papers at the library. Ever since I started moping around I hadn't gotten much done. In fact, I hadn't gotten anything done. My grades were slipping and I was seriously in trouble of possibly getting kicked out of the team for the first time. Having that thought felt a little strange. I'd never had a problem with school. I found most subjects pretty easy and I even took a few advanced classes other than the regular ones.  
  
"Anyone taking this seat?" I asked a black-haired girl who was bent over her books that looked dangerously at the edge of falling off, judging by the height of the enormous pile. She looked up.  
  
"Helen?"  
  
"Hey.. what's up? Where's Julie?" she gestured at the seat across from her and went back to scribbling.  
  
I sat down and opened my bag. "Yeah.. I've left this for way too long. She decided to sleep in today. So I figured I'd catch up on some work." I stacked up my books on the table and realized that my pile doubled hers.  
  
"What are you doing?" I asked her curiously. She didn't seem like the type to slack.  
  
"Work," she replied shortly.  
  
"Which subjects?" I tried again.  
  
She looked up. "Well.. I've got economics," she made a face and tapped at the paper she was working on, "Ugh.. then I've got advanced physics, English, my research for advanced psych, chemistry, biology -", she sighed, "well.. you get the idea."  
  
"Why are you taking so many subjects?"  
  
She paused to think for a second. "The same reason why you're doing it I guess." She smiled at me.  
  
"How do you know what subjects I take?"  
  
"You and Julie are the only Ducks who do extra. Everyone knows that. I learnt from Guy ages ago," she shrugged.  
  
"Oh.." I hadn't expected that. I hardly knew anything about this girl and yet, she seemed to know a lot about myself. I flipped open my math book and started working on the questions. We worked in silence for almost an hour. I stared blankly at question after question. I couldn't make head or tail of anything.  
  
"Need help?"  
  
I jumped slightly in my seat. Helen was looking at me questioningly.  
  
"Yeah.. I guess.. I'm way behind than I thought," I told her.  
  
"It's ok. Happens to everyone. I tripped and cracked my rib during 7th grade and they hospitalized me for a whole month. My parents wouldn't let me do anything, not even read a lousy comic. When I got back to classes, I felt like I belonged in elementary school," she offered. I handed her my book and scooted over beside her.  
  
"Ok.. where don't you understand?" she asked.  
  
"Everything," I mumbled.  
  
"Let's start on this chapter then. Mrs. Morton hinted that they'll be covering a pretty hue percentage in next week's test." She explained the whole chapter to me slowly. She made a pretty good teacher, by the end of the hour I'd manage to get everything down clearly.  
  
"Thanks. You're pretty good at this stuff," I said.  
  
"Well.. Can't help it can I? The library's practically my home. I spend most of my free time here. And I don't even like the subject," she joked.  
  
"Yeah.. I hate it too. It's my worst subject. Don't you have anything else to do?" I asked and I knew I'd asked the wrong question. She looked angry for a moment but then she just shook her head without saying anything.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Helen's POV  
  
Adam's question bugged me a bit. Why didn't I have anything better to do other than work? Was my life really that boring? Well.. Charlie and I were going out tonight but other than that.. I didn't have anything else planned. But then I was always busy doing work. I had no time to spare for other stuff. Maybe that's why I always find myself in the library.  
  
I realized that I didn't have any friends at Eden Hall besides the Ducks. Maybe I just didn't want any friends. I knew nothing could compare to the friendship I had with my best friends back in Ohio. That's why I never bothered. Now that I had Charlie, I was even sure than before that didn't need anyone else.  
  
************************************************************************ Adam's POV  
  
I walked into the auditorium where the grand piano was. I sat in one of the seats and imagined Penny on stage, playing one of her complicated pieces. She'd been a beautiful player. Her hands were a mass of blur as they flew up and down the keys. If she was still alive, she could have made it as a professional pianist. It had always been her dream. A listened to an imaginary tune that she used to play. Then, quite suddenly, I realized that it was real.  
  
I squinted across the dark room and saw a figure standing on stage. She was playing the flute. The melody seemed to dance lightly off the high walls. She looked really familiar. I got up and walked quietly down the row of seats towards the stage. It was Helen. I stood at the edge of the stage but she was lost in the music. She swayed from side to side to the tune. I could tell that she was really into the playing. At the final note I applauded enthusiastically. She opened her eyes with a look of surprise.  
  
"That was really good. How long have you been playing?"  
  
"Just over three months. I usually play the saxophone," she sat at the edge of the stage. "What are you doing here?" she asked me.  
  
"Just thinking. Penny used to play that tune a lot," I said.  
  
"Oh.. she played the flute?"  
  
"No, the piano. She was great on it," I said, smiling at the thought. "Can I see that?" I pointed at the flute she was holding.  
  
"Sure.. just be careful. It's not mine, I loaned it from my instructor for this semester. I'm planning to get one if I decide to keep playing," she said.  
  
"Well.. you should. You play really well," I told her and fingered the flute carefully.  
  
"How long had Penny been playing?" she asked.  
  
"Ever since I could remember," I replied. "I think she was about four or five. She wanted to travel around the world as a performer."  
  
"Wow.. she must have been really good. I do music as a part-time thing. It's good for the stress from school work. The music just calms me," she explained. I could see that she was really passionate about her playing.  
  
"Yeah.. she was really good. I think I know what you mean. When I listened to Penny play, I would forget everything on my mind. Everything just felt better after that. Now I skate to take away the pressure. It helps too, but not as well as the music does," as I said all this I felt even, a little surprise that I was telling Helen what I'd normally wouldn't tell anyone. I don't know.. she just gave me a feeling that I'd already known her for a long time. She felt like an old friend.  
  
"Want me to play some?" she took the flute from me and moved to center-stage. I sat in the front row seat to listen. She started playing a slow, peaceful tune. Her expression was immense as she played her way through the song. It was like she felt the song inside, in fact, it looked as if she was the song.  
  
She finished playing and smiled. "Feel better?" she asked.  
  
"Yes. Thanks.. I better get going. Julie and I are going out," I said, somewhat reluctantly. This girl was so mysterious. She seemed to be hiding a lot of things from everyone. And yet, she seemed to understand me more than anyone else. I really wanted to find out more about her.  
  
"I think I'll stay here some more. Have fun," and she started playing again, lost in the music again. She looked the picture of an angel, someone who I barely knew, but had helped me more than anyone else even if she didn't realize that.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
I woke up sweating. I'd dreamt that Penny was crying out for me in her room, trying to tell me she was in trouble. I shuddered at the thought and climbed out of bed. I glanced at the clock that was hanging above the door. Midnight. The moonlight that streamed into my room made the trees outside cast shadows against the grass. I sneaked out of the building quietly and headed for the spot under the oak tree. To my surprise, there was already someone there. I approached carefully. I'd be in big trouble if any of the teachers caught me out of bounds after curfew.  
  
I wondered who else could be up outside at night. And for the third time that day, I found myself looking at Helen. I recognized the black hair hanging to her waist. She was sitting arms crossed over her knees, thinking. I tapped her softly on the shoulder. She jumped and turned around.  
  
"You gave me a fright!" she exclaimed.  
  
"Sorry," I smiled apologetically, "what are you doing up?"  
  
"Couldn't get to sleep. Just one of those nights I guess," she said.  
  
"Mind if I sit?"  
  
"No problem," she moved over and I sat down on the grass beside her.  
  
"You come here often?" she asked without looking at me.  
  
"Yeah.. all the time," I replied. The tree was my favorite spot to think.  
  
"It's a good place to think," she said as if she'd read my mind.  
  
"So what are you thinking about?" I asked expectantly.  
  
"Home," was all she said.  
  
"I see." If she didn't want to talk about it, I wasn't going to ask more than I should.  
  
"The stars are really bright tonight. The brightest I've seen yet," I said and pointed out the different constellations to her. "Penny and I used to sit out here when she couldn't sleep after a nightmare." She listened intently, not saying anything. We laid back to watch the clouds pass by and covered parts of the sky.  
  
"What's your family like?" she asked abruptly. I wasn't sure what to say.  
  
"My mom's ok I guess.. for a mom.. and my dad.. well.. I don't really wanna talk about him," I said. She stared at the ground as if thinking hard about what I'd just told her.  
  
"I have a sister, Annie. Then there's mom and dad.. they're alright.. but they like making me do stuff I hate.. it was their idea for me to come here.. and you know what happened to my brother," she said.  
  
"My dad's always pushing me hard. No matter how well I played hockey I could never satisfy him. You've got the easy dad," I assured her.  
  
"Yeah well.. I just wish my friends were here," she said with a frown.  
  
"But you have friends here. The Ducks are your friends. I'm your friend. Right?"  
  
"I guess.." she replied slowly.  
  
"You know.. I've always felt maybe a little apart from the rest of the team. I was a Hawk, a different team during peewees. I played against the Ducks in a couple of games before our old coach found out about the mistake and I had to switch teams. Those few weeks were the worst days I'd had during that winter," I told her.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Well.. the Ducks weren't exactly mean or anything. But they ignored me a lot. Charlie was the only one who spoke to me for two whole weeks before anyone else did. After that they pretty much accepted me I guess. But when you think about it sometimes, it's still feels a little different," I shrugged, "It's not that they treat you any differently, just that the thought of being an outsider is always there."  
"That's how I feel. That's why I don't have many friends around here. It's just different. What I had at home was special and nothing can change that," she said thoughtfully.  
  
"Nothing's going to change. Look at it this way, coming here only means that you gain a little more. You've got nothing to lose. Your friends are still your friends, back home or here. It's the same thing. They're not going to forget you just as you're not going to forget them," I reminded her.  
  
"You're right I guess," she said.  
  
"Want to go back inside? It's getting a little cold," I asked her.  
  
"Yeah.. We should probably get some sleep. I don't know about you but I know I need all the sleep I can get to last me through all the work I have to do before Monday." We got up and headed towards the dorms. I opened the door for her and we stepped into the warmth.  
  
"Goodnight," I said, as we paused by her door.  
  
"Night," she said. I started towards my room.  
  
"Hey Adam," she called out behind.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Thanks," she said quietly.  
  
"You're welcome," I replied. But she'd already gone into her room. I'd been a weird day. At least I found out something. This girl obviously understood where I was coming from. And the strangest thing was, I think I understand her too.  
  
************************************************************************ 


	12. No Escape

Charlie's POV  
  
"Charlie Conway," came a voice from behind the counter. I thanked the nurse and went into the doctor's room.  
  
"Good morning Charlie. Before we start, I'd like to confirm that this is your mother's signature over here," he pointed at the squiggle on the paper; I gulped and nodded, "very well. Just make sure that she comes in to sign the final papers during the last session of your chemotherapy."  
  
I merely shrugged. Dr. Johnson was my doctor. He's a cool person, considering his white beard and ancient face. Easy-going and without too many words, he hadn't asked any awkward questions so far. But I still wouldn't want to know his reaction if he ever found out that I'd forged mom's signature.  
  
"How you're feeling lately?" he asked.  
  
"Alright I guess. Not as tired as before," I replied truthfully. I'd been feeling a lot more alive lately.  
  
"Well, the medication I gave you seems to be working at any rate," he said, and started making notes, "does your knee hurt?" he pointed at my left knee.  
  
"Yes. It was pretty bad during Friday's game. But it was worth it. We won, you know. 3 to 0," I said proudly, thinking about our victory.  
  
Dr. Johnson sighed and paused for a while before saying, "Charlie, I hate to tell you this but unless you tone down on your activities, I'll have to write up a note to your school to ban you from any of those. You have to give the knee a rest. Because the tumor happens to be just above your knee cap, unless you stop jumping around it's going to get a lot worse."  
  
I smiled feebly at his joke. It wasn't even funny. I couldn't stop playing just because of some little thing that was growing inside me.  
  
"Ok, I'll let my coach know so he'll let me off a bit," I told him anyway. Just to keep him happy. He didn't have to know. No way was I going to miss any games. Not when we're halfway through the season.  
  
"Alright. Now this is what we're going to do. We'll arrange for two sessions each week for about three or four weeks, depending on how things go. How about weekends? I think those are the best times, given your busy schedule," he asked.  
  
"Weekend's good," I said. There were no practices during weekends. I'd just have to tell everyone else I had to help mom out at home or something and let mom know I'll be hanging out with them.  
  
"I'll arrange the 3 to 5 o'clock slot for you. Just sign with the nurse every time you get in," he said.  
  
"Thanks a lot Dr. Johnson. See you on Saturday," I said and left. I jogged all the way back to the dorms. I'd told the team I was going out for a jog. Lucky for me nobody had the energy to join me after that grueling practice we had. It would look too suspicious if I turned up in a taxi at night. Too many questions that I didn't have answers too.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Guy's POV  
  
I opened my eyes as Charlie came in. He flicked on the lights.  
  
"Sleeping already?" he asked, "They're still partying outside. What you doing in bed?"  
  
"Just a little tired from practice. Coach's really got it in for me today," I grumbled and pulled the covers over my head.  
  
"Yeah well.. someone's a little slow today," he said.  
  
I looked up at him indignantly but he was grinning. I threw my pillow at him but he ducked and it hit his table and the contents just spilled onto the floor. Books, papers, gloves and.. pills? Where did those come from? I jumped out of bed to help him clear the mess and picked up a capsule.  
  
"What's this?" I asked him, holding out the white pill.  
  
"Nothing. Just painkillers," he mumbled and made a grab for the bottle. He dumped everything in frantically. He was nervous, I could tell. He rubbed his nose. A sign that he was telling a lie. Those weren't painkillers. I was sure of it. They were something else. And I was going to find out.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Fulton's POV  
  
I walked into the locker room and dumped my bag on the floor. I was actually early for the first time. I just had to work on my skating. It was starting to get harder and harder to catch up with the others especially at this level of game. The guys on the other teams were super fast and a killer shot wasn't going to do me any good if I couldn't actually get the puck because my skating was slowing me down. Besides, Coach had really been grinding us for the past few weeks.  
  
I heard rustling behind the changing room. Someone must be earlier than me. I rummaged my bag for my gear and headed towards one of the cubicles. Just then one of the other doors down the right-hand corner opened. It was Charlie. And he was bald. He looked panic-stricken to see me.  
  
"F-Fulton. What are you doing here?" he stammered.  
  
"Err.. dude? To change? Practice?" I waved my hands at the changing rooms. He looked like I'd walked in on him naked. There's was definitely something wrong with him. I saw relief washed over his face.  
  
"Oh, umm.. right," he walked by me quickly to his locker.  
  
"What's with the haircut? You look like Dean Buckley, only with less hair," I laughed lightly.  
  
"Cut? Oh yeah.. my hair's umm.. getting too messy. Good to get it away for a change," he said hurriedly. No way. Charlie never cut his hair unless his mom made him. We knew he liked to keep it long. Be it summer or winter. There was no way he would cut it just because he wanted to.  
  
"Bang!" the door burst open. It was Guy.  
  
"What happened to your hair?" he asked looking shocked. I guess he had the same idea I did. Charlie looked hideous without his hair. I never noticed how humungous his head was, hidden behind that bushy mess.  
  
"Cut it. What is this? Twenty questions?" snapped Charlie. Guy looked taken aback by the response. I was pretty surprised. All we did was asked a few simple questions. No reason for him to get all ticked off. We weren't picking on him, just his hair maybe.  
  
He jammed on his helmet, picked up his stick and slammed the door behind him. Guy and I exchanged glances. He looked just as confused as I felt.  
  
"What's up with him?" he asked.  
  
"Beats me. Bad day I guess," I said. But I knew it wasn't just a bad day. It had to be something else.  
  
"I don't know 'bout you Fulton, but I think he's hiding something. I saw some pills he had yesterday," Guy said, looking thoughtful.  
  
"Yeah? What kind of pills?" I asked curiously.  
  
"He told me they were painkillers. But they sure don't look like painkillers to me," he replied.  
  
"Maybe we could ask him later. Leave it for now. I feel a storm brewing up. Best be careful," I suggested. Guy nodded and we headed out to the rink. I had a feeling that Charlie was hiding something from us.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Guy's POV  
  
After practice Dwayne, Russ, Luis, Averman and I decided to grab a bite before heading back to the dorms to finish the ton of work the teachers piled on us. Normally I'd head straight back and I probably should but I wanted to put my mind off any kind of pressure and just chill out with the guys. The four of them wouldn't do their work even if their lives depended on it, but then again, nobody wanted to be booted off the team halfway through the season.  
  
Practice was getting more and more rigorous. Anyone would couldn't cut it probably meant that he or she wouldn't stand a chance for a spot in Varsity. So lately everyone seemed to be working harder than ever. I was a bit worried myself. I didn't have any special skills except that my stamina can probably last out longer than almost anyone else on the team but that was hardly what I'd call a skill. I'd always been more of a background person. The guys like Adam and Charlie took the front seats. Not that I minded, but I sometimes wished that I had something going for me too.  
  
As I pushed the door open to the parking lot of the local diner, I saw a black car parked out front. Connie and that guy, Chris were in it, trying to devour each other again. They were so into it they didn't even notice me standing there staring at them. Sick, I thought. But it hurt real bad. I had to turn away.  
  
"Hey Guy, let's -" Averman stopped mid-sentence and gawked at the scene in front of him. He turned an interesting shade of green then white and glanced nervously at me. I shrugged in response. I wasn't going to take out the guy a second time. If they wanted to swallow each other, let them. None of my business, other than the fact that it was making my heart crumble to the ground. There will be some serious picking up of what's left of it later.  
  
The other guys came out into the parking lot and they too, stared flabbergasted at the free show. They turned to look at me as if waiting for me to go over there and break it up. But I had no intention to do that. Far from it.  
  
I sighed, "Let's go." And one by one, the guys patted me on the back. They didn't say anything, but they didn't have to. I knew they were trying to make me feel better. That was all I needed at this point.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Fulton's POV  
  
Portman and I hung out at the lounge watching some evening movie. The door opened and several of the guys came in. I caught Guy's eye and looked questioningly at him and over at his and Charlie's room. He raised his eyebrows and I got up and followed him. He opened the door slowly and we filed in. Charlie was sitting at his table with his head propped on the book he was supposedly reading. Guy shook his shoulder.  
  
"Hmm.. go away. Can't a guy study in peace?" he snarled at us.  
  
I held my hands up in defense, "Chill Conway.. you were busy sleeping anyway."  
  
"Why did you wake me up for then?" he grumbled.  
  
I looked over at Guy. He hesitated before saying, "Charlie, Fulton and I need to ask you something." He didn't answer. I took it as a hint that we could ask straight out what we wanted to know.  
  
"Is there something you're not telling us?" I asked.  
  
"What do you mean?" He suddenly got very interested in the book in front of him.  
  
"Guy said you're taking some pills," I said. He glared at Guy.  
  
"They're painkillers for my knee. No big deal," he said. But I could tell he was lying.  
  
"I knew they're not painkillers when I saw them Charlie. What are they? What are you trying to hide?" Guy asked quietly.  
  
"I'm not hiding anything," said Charlie, with a very stubborn look on his face. My patience was wearing. I pulled open his drawer.  
  
"Hey! What the -" he protested and grabbed my hand. But I reach out at the bottle tucked in the corner and held it away from his reach. I couldn't believe what I saw written at the back.  
  
"Charlie.. man.. it says here it's prescription for treatment.. of.. of cancer." I was stunned beyond belief. Cancer?  
  
"You have cancer???" said Guy incredulously. Charlie sat back down on his chair looking defeated. I just looked at him, unsure of what to say.  
  
"Yes," he muttered. Damn. Cancer. That was big shit.  
  
"Oh man.." said Guy as he stared disbelievingly at the bottle. Twice and then another time, as if to make sure this wasn't just some kind of nightmare. We sat in silence, waiting for the news to sink in. Man.. I still couldn't believe something like that could happen to one of us.  
  
"When did you find out?" Guy asked with uncertainty. For a second Charlie looked like he wanted to bolt then he replied, "Two weeks ago." Again, silence.  
  
"Then.. then.. are you going to -" Guy asked again nervously. I sucked in a breath. That was the killer question. As much as I'd wanted to know, I wasn't sure of how to bring it up. I just didn't know what to say. Obviously Guy got that ground covered.  
  
"I don't know. The doctor says I've got a good chance if -," he gulped, "- they can remove the tumor successfully."  
  
"When.. when's the operation going to be?" I spoke up.  
  
"I'm on chemo now. If that doesn't work then I have to go for the operation," he said bleakly. That explained the missing hair.  
  
"Do the guys know?" I asked.  
  
"I don't want them to know," he said in a sort of finalizing tone. For a moment the three of us sat staring randomly. Perhaps all thinking the worst thoughts. What was going to happen to Charlie? Damn. This sucks.  
  
************************************************************************ Charlie's POV  
  
Busted. I knew I could trust Guy and Fulton to keep it a secret. But if it took them so little to notice, then it was only a matter of time before the others find out too. I really couldn't handle this now. But I didn't want to show it. I couldn't let my team down. And I knew Helen was counting on me. There were just too many things on my mind to give up right now. But I knew deep down inside, no matter what I did, no matter how hard I try to stand strong, there was no escape.  
  
************************************************************************ 


	13. Monster and Mom

Guy's POV  
  
"Ommphh.. Sorry," I said to some guy I'd bumped into in the early morning rush to class. He gave me the evil eye.  
  
"Watch where you're going you wimp," he scowled. And I recognized him. He was the stupid punk that Connie was dating. He threw me a threatening glare but I ignored him. Now wasn't the time to pick on fights. I had other things to worry about. Charlie for instance. But he shoved me against the lockers.  
  
"I'm talking to you little dude," he growled and grabbed my shirt by the collar. I eyed him warily and gasped for breath as he tightened his grip round my neck. I tried to shake him off but felt as if I were about to burst from suffocation.  
  
"Next time you look at me when I'm talking to you. And I'm warning you. Stay away from my girl," he said and jabbed his finger against my chest.  
  
"What she does is none of my business," I replied coldly. Smart. I was sure he was capable of turning me into pulp right in the middle of the hallway right in front all these students.  
  
"It'd better stay that way. I've seen the way you look at her. And I know what I see, I'm no fool," he snarled.  
  
"Funny, you seem like one," I shot back angrily. I didn't care what this guy did to me. I was on a roll.  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
"I said you're a big, f*cking, idiotic, no-brain jerk!!" I screamed into his face. Wrong move. He started choking me and I felt as if I were about to burst. Then almost suddenly, he let go. He moved away and revealed Fulton and Portman, followed by Russ, Ken, Luis and the other guys. They were all glowering at Chris.  
  
"You watch your step man," said Fulton with full glare.  
  
"Yeah.. what's the big idea? Why don't you go pick on someone your own size or just get your ugly ass outta here," Portman said with force. They both locked into a stare down but Chris finally looked away.  
  
"I'll get you next time. See what you're made of without your little buddies here to protect you," he sneered at me and walked down the hall.  
  
"Jerk," Ken muttered under his breath.  
  
"The jerk guy is the jerkiest jerk of the jerky jerker jerk -" rattled Averman.  
  
"Shut up Averman. Save it for later," Russ cut in.  
  
"You ok Germaine?" Portman asked. I waved it off. We were late for class. No point discussing the fact that I'd almost gotten myself beaten black and blue again. Besides, Charlie wasn't with them, which was weird. I'd really wanted to talk to him after last night. He seemed really bummed out. No, make that in a really really down right shut down mode. I hope he was ok.  
  
************************************************************************ Helen's POV  
  
"Can I talk to you for a sec?" I asked Charlie when I reached the Ducks' table. A couple of them gave me weird looks. I'd sit with them most of the time, but at that moment there was something important I had to discuss with Charlie right away. And I mean pronto.  
  
"What's up?" he gave me a small smile. I could tell he wasn't in a good mood. But I had to tell him. I dragged him to the front lawn.  
  
"Mymomscomingthisweekend. You have to meet her. I haven't told her anything -" I blurted.  
  
"What? Wait a second. Slow down. One word at a time," he said, looking confused. I knew I wasn't making any sense. But it was an emergency. Major crisis.  
  
"My mom is arriving on Friday afternoon," I said slowly.  
  
"Ok. That's good. You'll be glad to see her," he replied. He looked happy for me. But that was the last response I expected. He didn't even seem worried at the thought of my mom coming to visit.  
  
"No, you don't understand. I want you to meet her. But I don't want you to because I haven't asked you -, I mean, I want you to, but - it's just, oh, she insisted but I wasn't sure if you're up to it. But you absolutely have to meet her because I don't know what to tell -"  
  
"Woah - Calm down. I'd love to meet her," he told me and patted my hand reassuringly.  
  
"Would you? Oh, thank you thank you, a zillion times. You don't know how I tried to get her to -"  
  
"Shh..," he pressed his fingers over my mouth, "you're babbling again."  
  
"Oh," I blushed. "Sorry, I'm just so worried you might not -" I stopped. He was looking at me, amused.  
  
"I guess I better shut up huh?" I said, turning red again. He removed his fingers from my mouth and trailed them across my cheek, brushing it gently. I felt my face turning redder, I thought it'd go on fire.  
  
"You're cute when you babble," he whispered softly and planted the softest kiss on my lips. I smiled at him; the churning nervousness in my stomach was replaced with a warm glow. Charlie always made me feel better. I didn't know how he did it, but he does me wonders all the time and I didn't want that to stop.  
  
************************************************************************ Charlie's POV  
  
I felt sick in the stomach as we reached Guy's house. What had I gotten myself into? I couldn't face Helen's mom keeping this secret. But what would she think of me if I told her the truth? I looked at Helen beside me. She looked excited, almost skipping. I smiled weakly at her. Here goes nothing.  
  
"Hey guys!" Guy greeted us at the door. "What took you so long?". He added in a whisper, "Your mom's in a grouchy mood." I gulped. Oh boy.  
  
But Helen just shrugged, "She's always in a bad mood. Come on, let's go in. It'll be ok, I promise."  
  
I followed the two of them inside. I tried to make myself invisible and stood there as the family exchanged greetings. I felt completely out of place. What was I doing there? Helen nudged me. Oh, right, I made a promise. I shook my head at her. She looked at me questioningly.  
  
"Charlie! It's nice to see you!" said a voice from behind the mob in front of me. Suddenly everyone was looking at me. I could feel my face turn pale.  
  
All eyes were on me. I felt like a trapped dog, no where to escape. I sucked in a breath and held my hand out. "It's nice to see you too, Mrs. Germaine. How have you been? My mom sends her love. She says to drop by anytime you're free."  
  
"I most certainly will," she said and beamed at me. So far so good. But the worse was yet to come.  
  
"Mom, I'd like you to meet Charlie. He's the guy I've been telling you about. Charlie, my mom," said Helen quickly. I glanced nervously at her. She pushed me to the front and I held out my hand again.  
  
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you Mrs. Colby," I stuttered. She seemed to be taking me in front top to toe, as if trying to size me up. Finally, with a very what I read as an approving look, she returned the handshake and gave me a warm smile. I felt a wave of relief wash over me.  
  
We sat down in the lounge room for a little chat. Dinner went well. I tried to speak as less as possible. Nobody seemed to notice. Guy and Helen were drumming up the conversation, it wasn't hard to fake the silence for politeness. I just hoped they bought it. I caught Mrs. Germaine looking my way a few times. But I that was the least of my worries at the moment. Now if I could get through this conversation without embarrassing myself and Helen, it'd be home free.  
  
"So Charlie, Helen tells me you play hockey with Guy here," said Mrs. Colby.  
  
I took a sip of the tea from my cup before replying, "Yes. We play for Junior Varsity. Hopefully we'll make Varsity next year if we're good enough," I told her, my confidence building. Hockey was the easiest subject on earth. No problem.  
  
"Of course you'll get in," Helen piped in. Then she turned to her mom, "He's captain of the team!" I blushed. Guy caught my eye and grinned. Score one.  
  
"Impressive. Tell me more about your family," she suggested.  
  
"My mom works at the local diner. We live a few blocks down from here. And my dad is.. well.. he's kinda out of the picture," I said and stared at the floor. How was she going to react to that? I shifted uncomfortably in my seat next to Helen. Mrs. Colby was wearing a slightly disgruntled look.  
  
Luckily Mrs. Germaine came to my rescue, "That was such a long time ago Lauren. Charlie and his mom are doing ok, aren't you? Casey's a very independent mom. Bringing up Charlie alone was difficult, but as you can see, he turned out to be a very remarkable young man here." I flashed her a smile of thanks. Score two.  
  
"Well, he seems a nice enough boy," said Mrs. Colby. I felt as if I wasn't even in the room, the way she said it.  
  
"What are your plans after high school?" she asked.  
  
Plans? What plans? Were we suppose to think about plans so soon? We were only juniors! I racked my brain for an answer when Guy jumped in.  
  
"Aunt Lauren, we still have a couple of years. It's too early to think about future plans," he said.  
  
"Actually," I said, "I'm planning to get into college with a sport scholarship and then maybe do law in university." As soon as I said that, both Helen and Guy cast me quizzical looks. Hey, it was partly true, the parts about getting into college and university at least. I wasn't sure about law though. If Bombay did it, it must be ok.  
  
"Oh, well then, you seem to have things figured out." 'Ahah!' I thought. Score three.  
  
"As I've always said Lorraine, it's never too early to start thinking about career prospects," Mrs. Colby said and eyed Guy condescendingly. He squirmed uneasily. I felt guilty for putting him on the spot.  
  
After the hour passed by, I asked to speak to Mrs. Colby before we started back to the dorm. She looked at me patiently. It was now or never.  
  
"Mrs. Colby, I think there's something about me you should know. I really love your daughter and I think it's only fair that I tell you this. I've.. been diagnosed with cancer," I said outright. She was silently for a moment.  
  
I braved on, "I have told Helen about this, and she accepts it. I don't want to lie to you. I may not live for long. She'll find someone better when I'm gone but I hope you'll let us be together just for now. If - if you don't like it, I'll try to work things out with Helen. But I promise you, I'll make her really really happy," I finished and darted out before she could say anything. I didn't know what her reaction was to that, but I knew she was stunned for one thing.  
  
Helen eyed me suspiciously as I caught up with them down the road. "So what did were you talking about?" she asked.  
  
"Nothing," I said, looking straight ahead. I hated to think what her mom would say the next time she saw me or Helen. But for the moment all I wanted to do was enjoy my time with Helen, before it was too late.  
  
************************************************************************ Connie's POV  
  
I crouched against the corner in pain. I could feel the bruise swelling on my forehead. That was where one of the many places I was struck. I didn't dare open my eyes to face the monster. It was still breathing heavily from the struggle. I could hear the rasping sounds coming from the other end of the room. It lunged out again. Before I could scream it struck me again across the face. I leaned on the wall for support. Painful.. so painful.  
  
I could feel it retreating to the dark again. I scanned the place frantically for an escape. Anywhere, anything to get me away from this monster. From this pain. But I felt too weak to move. Every joint and limb felt torn apart and my heart ripped open with agony. It was unbearable. I could die then and there. Then suddenly, I saw black and fainted. ************************************************************************ 


	14. Just the Two of Us

Adam's POV  
  
I heard a rustle behind me and turned around. I was out again under the tree and it was way past midnight. I wasn't going to get caught just as I was finally getting my life back together. I couldn't see anyone. Probably just the wind playing with the leaves. It was a little chilly. But then, I heard something else. It was unmistakably the sound of someone sobbing quietly. It came from behind the bushes. I got up cautiously and crept to the edge of the row of hedges. I could see a girl's back facing me.  
  
It was Helen. What was she doing? I bent down and put my hand on her shoulder. She shook it off.  
  
"What happened?" I asked, worried. But I seemed to have asked the wrong question because she starting crying uncontrollably. I patted her on the back gently. She shook her head in protest. Then I did what I always did when Penny cried. I sat down awkwardly beside her and hugged her until the crying subsided. She looked at me, tear-stricken face and all.  
  
"Now will you tell me what happened?" I asked.  
  
"I had a fight with my mom," she said angrily and started plucking at the grass.  
  
"What about?"  
  
"Charlie," she said. Now I was really curious. Where did Charlie come in?  
  
"What about him?" I asked her.  
  
"Well.. we've been going out," she began, I looked at her in surprise, "And - and, I probably shouldn't tell you this."  
  
"It's ok. You can tell me anything," I said to her. If they were going out, they'd certainly made it discreet, none of us had a clue about this. Not me especially, that's for certain.  
  
"Well.. you promise no to tell?" she asked.  
  
"I promise. Now, what's up?"  
  
"Well.. Charlie. He has - can.. cancer," she said. This time, I was really shocked. Cancer? How could that be?  
  
"What are you saying? Is he going to die? But can -" I blurted, panicky. It sounded so bizarre. How could Charlie have cancer? And why didn't he tell me? I felt a stab of hurt. Didn't he trust me?  
  
"But that's only part of the problem," she cut me off mid-sentence.  
  
"You mean there's more??" I asked in amazement. What in the world could be worse than that?  
  
"He told my mom," she said. I stared blankly at her for a second then it dawned to me.  
  
"And my guess is.. she told you to break up with him," I said. She nodded and started crying again. I didn't know what else to do, so I hugged her again and let her cry all she wanted. I hadn't been able to help Charlie but could make sure Helen was alright. It was the least I could do.  
  
************************************************************************ Helen's POV  
  
I didn't know how long Adam and I sat there behind the bushes. All I knew was, every time I thought about what my mom said, I wanted to cry all over again.  
  
---- Flashback ----  
  
"I forbid you to be with Charlie," said mom. I looked at her, stunned. What was she talking about?  
  
"That boy has cancer. Now don't look so surprised. He told me himself. Or did you think I wouldn't find out anyway?" she said.  
  
"But he loves me! I have to be with him. Or I'll - I'll die! " I screamed at her.  
  
"Don't be silly! That's what I was afraid of. The boy's death will kill you. The sooner you forget about him, the better," she said coldly. I couldn't believe what I'd just heard.  
  
"Why are you doing this to me??!? First you send me here, away from Vera, Glynis, Anna, Selina and all of my friends. Then you come here and barge into my life and now you want me to leave Charlie?? Well guess what?? I'm not listening to you!!!!" I shrieked.  
  
"Don't you dare speak to me in that tone young lady. I'm your mother and I know what's best for you."  
  
"Well maybe I don't want you to be my mom!!!!! You think what you're doing is best for me???!?? Best for me???? You've taken everything I love away by making me come here!!! I'm not letting you do this to me again!!!!!!!!" I shouted. I could feel tears streaming down my face. I've had enough. I slammed the door at her face and sprinted down to the tree. I didn't care if she told my father or sent me back again, I just wanted get away from her.  
  
---- End Flashback ----  
  
"I feel like suffocating every time they try to take control of my life. Making me do things against my will. Telling me what's good for me. As if they knew anything about my life," I told Adam. He didn't say anything, but I was glad enough for someone to listen to my ranting.  
  
"I hated moving. Leaving all my friends behind. They took my friends away from me. I won't let them take Charlie away," I cried out loud, resolutely. "I'll- I'll run away. Kill myself. Anything. As long as I don't have to listen to them anymore."  
  
"You don't mean that really. I understand where you're coming from," he responded quietly. I glanced up at him indignantly.  
  
"You don't know anything," I snapped.  
  
"Yes. You forgot, my father is William Banks. He controls me, my life, everything," was his reply.  
  
"Oh," I wanted to kick myself. I was so absorbed in my own problems I'd forgotten about how hard Adam's life was.  
  
"That's ok," he gave me a small smile, "sometimes people forget things when they're not feeling too hot themselves." It was as if he read my mind.  
  
We came back again the next night. And the next. I poured my heart to him, telling him every trouble I had in my mind. Somehow, he'd always make it better.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Guy's POV  
  
I was lounging on the couch with my history book in lap. I yawned. It was past 2 in the morning. But Connie wasn't back yet. I was starting to get worried. Just then I heard the lock turn. I leapt to my feet.  
  
"You're back! Where were you?" I asked. She hurried past me without saying anything.  
  
"Wait! I need to talk to you," I grabbed her by the arm. She cried out in pain. And then I caught sight of her face. There was a huge bruise on her forehead and her mouth was still bleeding. I cupped her chin and turned her face towards mine. We were so close I could feel the taste of blood. For a second, I had the urge to kiss her.  
  
"What happened?" I whispered. A tear rolled down her cheek. But before I could brush it away she pushed past me into her room. I didn't bother to stop her.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Charlie's POV  
  
I couldn't get the words out of my mind. This just had to be the worst week of my life. First cancer, now this.  
  
--- Flashback ---  
  
"Charlie, I know you're a nice boy and all. But I really think Helen would be better off with someone else providing the current situation.. I'm sure you understand?" she asked. I knew it was more a warning than I question. I barely nodded. Now what was I going to do?  
  
"I'm glad we agree on this. I'm really sorry Charlie, I wish it could be different," she said somewhat apologetically. Yeah right, I thought. But I'd seen that coming, right?  
  
--- End Flashback ---  
  
Just then books and papers were flying all around and I snapped back to reality. "I'm sorry," I said to whoever I'd bumped into. But he was already halfway down the hall before I managed to regain my balance. Man.. this is going to be a long day. I took my seat at the back of the class and slipped into space again.  
  
How am I supposed to break up with Helen? What am I going to do? I don't want to lie to her mom. But even more, I don't want to break up with her. "No way!" Gales of laughter broke out throughout the room. Without realizing, I'd said those last words out loud and not mention the fact that I'd actually stood up on my seat.  
  
Mr. Lester turned around. "Is there a problem Mr. Conway?" More snickers and muffled giggling. I turned bright red and slumped back into my seat. No problem, no problem at all.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
"Hey.. umm.. you wanna have lunch some place else?" I asked Helen nervously. She beamed at me. "Sure." She looked at the prospect of being alone. If only she knew what I was about to tell her.  
She followed me out of the cafeteria. She looked so beautiful when she smiled. Why would I want to break up with this girl?  
  
I reached for her hands and looked into her green eyes. They sparkled and lit up. Tell me why am I doing this again? I drew in a deep breath.  
  
"There's something I have to tell you. I don't know how to say this but - I.. umm.. oh man.. this is so hard.." I trailed off and looked down on the floor.  
  
She squeezed my hands, "It's ok Charlie. I know." I looked up in surprise. "You do?"  
  
"Yeah. Mom and I talked about it. Well, actually, I screamed at her and told her butt of," she said wryly.  
  
"You did?" I asked incredulously. I couldn't believe that she told her mom off.  
  
"No, I just told her that she can't interfere with my life and she can't keep me away from the guy I love," she said, blushing. But I could tell she was a little upset. I knew she hated quarrelling with her mom.  
  
"Do you really think that's a good -"  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Helen's POV  
  
"I want to be with you and you know it," I cut him off and grinned. I really didn't want to make my mom hate me, but it was time I started making myself happy and not everyone else.  
  
He leaned in and kissed me tenderly. I blushed again and kissed him back. "You don't speak much but you sure know how to kiss," I teased him.  
  
"Am I really that bad?" he protested, pretending to look hurt.  
  
"You barely said a word during dinner that night. Didn't you notice my aunt looking at you? Like you were some kind of alien life-form who couldn't understand English," I said giggling.  
  
"Speak for yourself. You never stopped talking at all. I thought my ears were gonna come of with all that noise coming out of your mouth," he scoffed, eyes twinkling.  
  
I gave him a playful shove. He put his arm around my shoulders and we walked back into the building laughing. From now on, it was going to be just the two of us. Nobody else mattered. 


	15. Facing the Facts

Charlie's POV  
  
For the hundredth time I say to myself, I hate this. My head felt dizzy after the chemo treatment. How long do I have to go through this?! I slammed my head against the wall. Ouch. Bad move. Pain seared through my head.  
  
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Guy suddenly appeared in front of me.  
  
"What would you know Germaine?" I snapped at him. Stupid temper. Not the time to make my best friend mad. "Sorry man.. all this treatment is getting into me."  
  
"No problem," he said and sat down next to me in one of the cold, plastic chairs they had at the hospital. Way comfy.  
  
"What's up? Trying to get out of practice?" I asked him.  
  
He punched me lightly on the shoulder. "Me? No way.. Guy Germaine missing practice? That'll be the day.. I figured you'd be here. Coach cancelled practice. That's a first huh?" He laughed lightly. Even so, I could tell that he had a lot on his mind.  
  
"So.. how's everything going?"  
  
"What do you mean?" he asked suspiciously.  
  
"You know? School.. hockey.. Connie..?" I shrugged.  
  
He sighed and hesitated before saying, "I'm worried about her Charlie."  
  
"I thought you were mad at each other?" I got a glare for that.  
  
"It's not the way you think it is. There's something wrong with her Charlie. She's got all these weird bruises and scratches. I think Chris is beating her up," he said worriedly.  
  
"Oh man.. I can't believe I didn't see that," I swallowed guiltily. I'd been too wrapped up in my own world to even notice anyone else.  
  
"You couldn't have, she hides it well. Don't make it hard on yourself," he said.  
  
"So has she said anything to you?"  
  
"No, I tried to talk to her. I wish she would just talk to me. It hurts so badly.. you don't know how much I miss her.." he hung his head dejectedly. I slung an arm over his shoulder. Hearing him talk about Connie made me wonder about how long I had with Helen. Guy was always there for Connie, no matter how bad she treated him. I couldn't give that to Helen, because I couldn't be there forever.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Helen's POV  
  
"Are you ok? You're being awfully quiet," I asked Charlie, who was sitting across from me. We were out for dinner again. Something was wrong with him, I could tell.  
  
"Nothing," he said and threw me a small smile.  
  
"Really? You haven't said a word since we left campus. Is there something you want to tell me?" I asked persistently. I reached for his hand but he drew it back instantly. I felt as if he'd just slapped me.  
  
He sighed. For the first time, I couldn't wait for our date to end. I wanted to get back into my room to have a good cry.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Connie's POV  
  
"What do you want from me?!" I screamed at his face. I earned a slap across the face for that.  
  
"You're all mine, babe. Don't even try anything new," he growled and grabbed me by the wrist. He started dragging me into his car. I clung to the door and kicked at him.  
  
"You're so sick! I told you, I don't want to do this!!!" I shrieked. I was terrified. Was he going to force me into it? Where were some people when you needed them? He hoisted me and hurled me into the back seat. I groaned and clutched my stomach in pain. He slapped me again back and forth. I winced and tried to scream. He punched me in the eye. I could see stars swimming above. I tried to focus again but there was no time to think, I gave in as he pulled my blouse apart. Oh Guy.. I'm so sorry..  
  
************************************************************************  
  
I opened the door and immediately crashed into someone. What did he want with me again?! I screamed.  
  
"Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! Get away from me!" I flailed my arms desperately. But he had me trapped against the wall. I started to scream again but he placed his hands over my mouth.  
  
"Wait! Connie, stop. It's me. It's only me.." the voice came in the dark.  
  
"Guy?" I asked uncertainly. Suddenly the lights came on. I nearly shrieked. Guy's green eyes were staring into mine, our faces, only a few inches apart. I sucked in a breath. I'd forgotten how beautiful they were.  
  
"Are you ok?" he asked and gently removed his hands. I felt tears welled up in my eyes.  
  
"Shhh.. don't cry.. let's fix you up, ok? Come on.." he picked me up off the ground and placed me on the couch. He went into his room and came back with a first aid kit. I tried to sit up but he stopped me.  
  
"Don't get up. You're a mess. You must be tired.." he said kindly. He opened the kit and rummaged around.  
  
"Ok.. just bare with it. It's gonna sting, but you'll be as good as new after I'm done," he smiled and dabbed my cuts gently. I winced. He held my chin up close before I could pull away. We were so close I could count the freckles on his cheeks. He was saying something but I couldn't hear. My head was spinning. Suddenly, the noise stopped. We were locked in a gaze. Then his face inched closer and closer. I felt his lips brush against mine softly. I closed my eyes and saw those dark lifeless eyes staring at me. I opened my eyes in shock and pushed Guy away.  
  
"Wha -?" He looked dazed.  
  
What were we doing? How could I let him kiss me?? No! I couldn't! I ran. I could hear him calling my name but I couldn't turn back. My heart longed and ached for him. But I couldn't tell him. I didn't deserve him. I felt so so. dirty.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Adam's POV  
  
Julie sighed and snuggled closer to me. In the big screen in front of us, the George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez were kissing passionately. Friday night, date night. Julie and I were at the movies to see some romance flick she picked out. Normally I would've welcomed the idea of the two of us in the dark, not to mention that she looked really inviting in that short black miniskirt. But I just wasn't into it. I glanced at my watch. Past midnight. I wondered if Helen was already under the tree waiting for me.  
  
"Adam.. hold me close would you?" Julie murmured beside me. I shifted my weight and tried to get comfy with her. She started playing with the button of my shirt and opened it. I could feel her fingers moving in circles on my chest. Oh boy, did that feel good. Then she caught me totally unprepared and forced her lips onto mine. I kissed her back hungrily. She trailed her tongue around my neck and bit it gently. I groaned. Oh Helen.. Wait! I pulled back in an instant. Why was I thinking about Helen while Julie is kissing me? Oh no.. could it be?  
  
"Adam?" Julie was staring at me with a hurt expression. I didn't respond and quickly planted my lips on hers. She fell into the spell again as I kissed her desperately. I couldn't believe I was thinking of another girl while I was with Julie. Beautiful Julie. The girl that I was in love with ever since I set eyes on her. I explored every inch of her mouth in vain, trying to forget about Helen. Finally, we broke apart. She sighed and smiled at me girlishly. I managed a small smile at her, but at the back of my mind I was still thinking about Helen.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Charlie's POV  
  
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this Charlie, but the I'm going to have to take you off the therapy," the doctor said gravely.  
  
"What does that mean?" I shouted at him. No, wait, this can't be happening. He's got to be kidding.  
  
"I think you know what I mean Charlie. I'm sorry but it doesn't seem to be working. This is going to be hard to take in, but your only option is the operation," he said, looking me in the eye. Oh shit.. it was real.  
  
"But I don't understand. I've been feeling much better. And.. and.. you said I had a good chance!"  
  
"Charlie calm down," he tried to pull me back onto the chair. "I understand what you're going through now. But the tumor has spread all over your legs and we're afraid it might start spreading to your body and we don't want to go there. Charlie.. I'm sorry but.. either that, or I suggest this, now it's harsh on you but, we need to get your legs amputated."  
  
"WHAT??????????????? No way!!!!!!!!! You don't understand!!! I need to play hockey!!!!! You can't do this!!" I screamed at his face. This can't be happening!!! No! I won't let it happen! I ran out of the doctor's room as fast as I could, ignoring his call. I'm not letting them do this to me! No..  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Helen's POV  
  
"Charlie? Are you in there?" I knocked at his door. No reply. I turned to leave. Just then I heard a wrenching sob from inside the room. I opened the door slowly. Charlie was sprawled on his bed, crying.  
  
"Charlie, what's wrong?" I knelt down beside his bed. I placed my arm around him but he shoved it away.  
  
"Go away!"  
  
"What happened? Are you ok?" I asked, concerned. Something was very wrong, I could feel it in my bones. Why won't he tell me?  
  
"Just go away ok?! I don't want to see you again! We're over!" he turned around and screamed at me. I couldn't believe my ears. It felt like being punched in the stomach. I took a step back.  
  
"Are.. are you breaking up with me?" I asked uncertainly.  
  
"Yes. Now go away.. leave me alone," he said quietly this time. He didn't scream, didn't shout, but it broke my heart to a thousand pieces. Suddenly, I couldn't be in the same room with him. I had to get away. Quick.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Charlie's POV  
  
I trashed in my bed, trying to make it go away. Wishing it was just a stupid nightmare and when I woke up it would be all over. But I knew it was too damn real. That when I opened my eyes, the reality would be too big for me to handle. That the cruel facts would swallow me in whole. Damn! Why me?! I kicked at the blankets, determined not to open my eyes.  
  
I wanted to tell her to come back. But I couldn't. I'm not going to give up on my legs. I would play hockey till my last breath. No one, nobody was going to take that away from me. For that, I was going to die. Once I'd made my decision, there was no turning back.  
  
It almost killed me to break up with her, but I had to do it. I owe her that much. Her mom was right. I couldn't take care of her for the rest of her life. I had no reason in keeping her tied down. It's only fair. I had to let her go, even though my heart was crying for her to come back. Oh God.. help me..  
  
************************************************************************  
  
A/N : Thanks to Banksiesbabe99 and crazy4nc128 for your reviews!! Just wondering.. anyone else out there reading this story??? 


	16. Crashing

Adam's POV  
  
"Adam?? Is that you?" a quivering voice greeted me. I'd booked down to the tree as soon as Julie went into her room.  
  
"Hey? I didn't think you'd still be out here," I said as I approached the tree. Helen was crying and her eyes were still swollen. I immediately gathered her in a tight hug but then she started crying again. I stroked her back gently and let her cry.  
  
"Let it all out.. it's ok.. I'm here." I realized, I wanted to care for this girl, to make sure she didn't have any reasons to cry again.  
  
She clung onto me for what seemed like an eternity. When she stopped, I lifted her face gently. "Now, will you tell me what happened?"  
  
"Ch.. Charlie.. he told me to go away. Why doesn't he want us to be together anymore.." she looked so lost, it broke my heart. For a second I felt angry at Charlie. I couldn't believe how he could do this to such a beautiful girl. A beautiful girl who I ached to be with right then.  
  
"Did he say why?" I asked her, seething.  
  
"N.. No.. he just told me to go away. I.. I.. I.. don't understand..," she stammered. Then she stood up shakily, "I'll find him.. I'll make him tell me why.. I need to be with him.. I'll go.. He'll take me back." I stared into her eyes, they were wild, crazed. And the saddest thing I saw, was the torment she was going through.  
  
Before I knew what I was doing, I grabbed her arm and pulled her down beside me. I held her head close to mine and kissed her. She hesitated and started to pull away for a second. But then, the most unbelievable thing happened. She kissed me back.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Helen's POV  
  
Oh. My God. I was kissing.. Adam?!??  
  
"No!" I pushed him aside. "No, we can't do this.. Charlie.." I couldn't stop the tears this time.  
  
"I'm sorry.. I didn't.. I couldn't help it.." he stuttered and placed a hand on my shoulder. I shoved it away.  
  
"No! Don't touch me!" I yelped. I sank to the ground, feeling so helpless and confused at the same time. I let the tears flow freely down my face.  
  
"Hey.. I'm sorry.. I won't do that again.. I promise," he gathered me in a hug. "Don't worry.. I'm here. I'm going to keep you safe.." I clung onto him, eager for a place to hold on to.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Guy's POV  
  
"Charlie, wait" I grabbed him by the arm in the locker room. "Are you sure you should be out there?"  
  
"I'm ok Guy. I need to play this game," he told me. I looked at him warily. I still didn't think it was a good idea. "Look Guy, I'll be ok. Stop worrying, you're worse than my mom," he teased.  
  
"Right. But your mom doesn't know about this," I reminded him.  
  
"I'll be fine. It's just a game," he said confidently.  
  
"Well.. ok. But you promise to lay it off after this?"  
  
"Ok ok.. MOM.. Now can I play?" he grinned at me.  
  
"Yeah.. I guess..," I said reluctantly. I knew there was nothing I could do. Captain Ducky was as stubborn as a mule. When he made up his mind, there was no stopping him. I watched nervously as he walked out of the locker room.  
  
"Hey Conway!" I called out after him. He whipped around.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Show them how it's done!" I told him.  
  
"Alright! Are we ready to fly or what?!" he yelled.  
  
"Quack!" the team whopped.  
  
"What's that??" he cupped his hands behind his ears.  
  
"Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack!" and they filed out the locker room to be greeted by thundering cheers from the crowd. I followed them out and headed to my place in the box.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Charlie's POV  
  
Ok. First move, Goldie. Come on..Damn! Number 77 from the Eagles stole the puck away from him. We were halfway into the game and down 2 to 0. Connie and Guy were out of the game because of previous injuries, so we were in trouble without two of our better players. With both of them out of the line, everyone was still confused about the plays we've worked on. We were messing up. Big time.  
  
"Go get it Luis!" I heard Coach bellow from the box. The crowd went wild as Luis sped down the rink, quickly gaining on Number 77. I followed closely, a few feet behind. All of a sudden, I saw him split into two. There were.. two Luis'??? Huh?? As soon as it happened, the double Luis became one again. I shook my head and steadied myself. Suddenly the lights seemed to be a little too bright.  
  
"Conway!" I heard a voice from somewhere behind me. I turned around to see who it was. I tried to focus my vision. I saw Coach gesturing frantically down the other side of the rink. Luis had crashed into the boards and the Eagles' centre was already halfway towards our net. Dang! I raced down the ice, but it was too late. The alarm wailed. He'd already scored.  
  
"Conway! Change it up!" I heard the Coach yell again. I skated slowly back to the box. Not since District 5, had I ever been so relieved to sit on that bench.  
  
"Hey.. you ok? You seem a little spaced out there," said Guy as he sat down beside me.  
  
"Just a little tired. The Eagles are really giving it in," I assured him. Who was I kidding? I was more than tired. My knees felt as if they were about to give way anytime soon. I swear my head was going to burst.  
  
"I really think you should tell Coach what's going on," he said, still unconvinced.  
  
"No way! We can't have three players out of the game. Luis and Averman are still having trouble remembering what comes after the next. Banksie can't do it all alone. They're gonna start attacking him at any open corner," I said forcefully. I wasn't about to give up so easily.  
  
He started to say something else but Coach came over at that moment. "Is there a problem here boys?" he looked at us sternly. Boy, was he in a good mood.  
  
"No, sir," I said and looked at Guy pleadingly. He had to let me play.  
  
"No, sir," he mumbled hesitantly and looked down at his feet.  
  
"Good. Conway, I need you out there. They're flocking around Banksie. I want you to take it from him when you reach the red line. Whatever you do, don't look back. Just go straight in for it. You got it?" he rattled.  
  
"Yeah, got it," I said.  
  
"Good. The clock's ticking. Get out there and show them how it's done!"  
  
I glanced over at Guy before I scrambled out of the box. He cast me a worried look. I knew he was worried about me. But I had to play, even if it was the last thing I did.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
I glanced at the clock. 20 seconds. Twenty.. nineteen.. come on Banksie.. bring it down here.. already three Eagles were tailing him as he zoomed towards the goal.. fifteen.. fourteen.. No time.. I had to get it myself.. I raced past in front of him.  
  
"Over here!" I called for the puck. He gave a desperate push as they closed in on him and fell in a heap on the ice. I turned around and headed toward the goal. Suddenly a pain shot through my head. I clutched my head with my gloved hand. My vision blurred and the lights above glared at me.. No.. got to get puck.. into.. goal.. ten seconds.. nine.. I struggled to see where I was going.. the pain was becoming unbearable and the net seemed.. very.. very. far. seven.. six.. five.. I shot the puck with as much energy as I could muster and fell onto the ice.. I watched desperately as it slid slowly toward the mouth of the goal.. three.. two.. please.. please.. let it go in.. then.. it stopped.. before it reached the net.. and that was when I stopped breathing.  
  
A/N : Sorry this is so short.. but I wanted to do the "suspense" thing.. hehe.. sorry.. don't get a heart attack or anything..  
  
Anne918 : Thanks for the review! Glad you're back reading this.. =) Hoped you enjoyed this chapter.  
  
Banksiesbabe99 : I was going to put Helen and Adam together but since you said you wouldn't like that.. I didn't. =) Yeah.. sorry if it sucks.. but yeah.. Connie got raped.. how do you like my suspense? Keep reading! 


	17. What You Don't Understand

Charlie's POV  
  
"He's waking up!" I heard someone say.  
  
"Shh.. be quiet," said someone else.  
  
"Charlie? Are you ok?" said the first voice.  
  
"Of course he's ok, you dweeb. Didn't you hear what the doctor said?" came the second voice.  
  
"Will both of you just shut up?" someone else scolded from behind.  
  
Doctor? Was I in the hospital? What was I doing there? I couldn't remember. I focused and found myself looking at Guy. The rest of the team was behind him. I could see Portman and Julie shooting each other death glares. Death. Then I remembered. I'd almost died.  
  
"Oh God, Charlie. You really scared us," said Connie as she came up beside the bed. I could tell she'd been crying.  
  
"Yeah. Ya know, for a second I thought you were a goner," said Dwayne, "Ya stopped - Oow!" Someone must have elbowed him.  
  
"I know.. I stopped breathing," I said. Suddenly everyone seemed to be looking at the ground. "Hey guys.. it's ok," I told them.  
  
Julie came forward and clutched my hand. "Oh Charlie, you didn't see what we saw. It was so scary. We thought.. we thought you were dead." Nobody said anything for a while.  
  
Then it dawned to me, "The game. Did we -?"  
  
"We lost Charlie. The puck. It didn't go in. They didn't have any rules set aside despite the fall," said Ken quietly.  
  
"Hey, it's ok Captain. You win some, you lose some right?" Luis said.  
  
"Yeah. We're just glad you're ok," Fulton added.  
  
"Where's Helen?" Now that I'd taken a good look around the room, I saw that she was missing. So was Adam.  
  
"She didn't take it too well. When you collapsed, she kinda passed out," Guy explained, "Adam took her back to the dorms."  
  
"So - so what actually happened to me?" This time I was sure nobody dared look at me. "Fulton?" I asked. He stared at the ground determinedly. I caught Russ looking at me sympathetically. "Russ?" I turned to him. He looked away.  
  
"Someone tell me what's wrong with me!" I tried to get up. Then, I realized, my legs were gone. "NO!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed. "What did they do to me???"  
  
I grabbed Guy and shook him harshly. "Why didn't you stop them!!!! Why!!!!!!!!!!!!" I let go and slumped back onto the pillows. I was just.. too.. tired.  
  
"I'm sorry Charlie.. they.. they had to do it. The - the tumor is starting to spread all over your body. The doctor said you.. you.. don't have much time left," he said slowly.  
  
Suddenly I didn't want to hear it anymore. "Out!! Get out!" I shouted at them. The doctor came in at the noise, looking concerned. What did he know?! He was probably the bastard that took my legs off.  
  
"What's going on in here?" he asked.  
  
"Why did you do this to me??" I screamed at him. I wanted to kill him.  
  
"Ok, I want everybody out. NOW. Give the boy some space," he ushered them out. They got out quickly.  
  
"How.. could you.. Why.." I could feel the tears running down my face. I didn't even bother to rub them away.  
  
"It's ok son. Please understand, it's for the best," the doctor said, trying to calm me down.  
  
No. I didn't need anyone feeling sorry for me. The damage was done. I was never playing hockey again. Never. My life was more than over.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Adam's POV  
  
"Do.. do you think he's dead?" Helen asked me and started crying again. I was trying to remember when was the last time she actually smiled.  
  
"No.. I just got a call from Julie. He's awake. He'll be fine.." I hugged her tightly. I couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth. I knew Charlie was probably kicking up a tantrum at the hospital right now. I'd do the same if I lost my legs. It was cruel reality. But he had only a few weeks to live.  
  
I wanted to kiss her again. Just to make sure she was alright. As my lips grazed her forehead, the door burst open. Helen and I looked up in surprise.  
  
"I can't believe you'd do this to me!!" Julie stood screaming at the door.  
  
I made a grab for her hand. "No Julie! It's not what you think it is," I said frantically. Then Portman came trashing through the door and punched me smack on the face. I crashed against the wall, dazed.  
  
"I thought I knew you better Cake-eater.. obviously you're not as gentlemanly as you put up to be," he snarled at me.  
  
"Wh.. what do you mean?" I asked him. Helen crouched beside me crying.  
  
"Don't give me that Banks. You just stole Charlie's girl," Portman said, grabbing me by the collar.  
  
"What?! Helen? You're going out with Charlie?" Julie asked disbelievingly. She pulled Helen to her feet. The rest of the team gaped at us.  
  
Helen opened her mouth to say something but closed up immediately. I could tell she was all stressed up. Then, before I could do anything, she slapped Helen across the face. She scrunched up against the wall beside me, looking lost. Suddenly, I couldn't take it anymore.  
  
"Back off Julie. It's not her fault!" I shouted at her and slapped her. She took a step back. I could see tears welling up in her eyes.  
  
"Oh Julie.. I'm so sorry.. I didn't mean to do that.." Then she ran out of the room. Ken and Dwayne ran after her. Oh man..  
  
"Real smooth Adam..," said Russ coldly, "that was low.. real low."  
  
"I can't believe you.. man.. I'd date plenty of girls.. but going for your best friend's girl? That really sucks.." Luis spat and left the room. Great, even Luis was dissing me. But I had to defend myself. It's not what they thought it was.  
  
"Wait. You guys.. let me explain.." I tried. I looked at Guy pleadingly. If there was anyone that would give me a chance, it was him. He'd believe me. He had to.  
  
But he looked at me coldly, "There's nothing to explain Adam.. We saw everything.. I just wished you'd thought of Charlie before you did this," and he left too.  
  
"I hope you remember your best friend lying in the hospital when both of you are busy sucking face," said Portman, he let me go and went out, followed by the rest of the team.  
  
At the door way, Fulton glanced backward. For a second, I thought I saw a little uncertainty in his eyes. But then he said, "I'm sorry Banks.. You're on your own," and slammed the door.  
  
"No.. you don't.. understand.." I said to no one. The only sound I heard, was Helen, still crying beside me. I was sunk.  
  
The next few days, everywhere we went, the Ducks ignored us. I wanted to tell Julie I was sorry, but she wouldn't even look at me. I was afraid that Portman might start punching me again between the hallways but all he did was glared at me. I wanted to see Charlie at the hospital, but every time I arrived at the main entrance. I had to turn back. Despite the fact that I knew Helen and I weren't going out, I felt guilty for kissing her. At a point, I knew I had the intention of taking her away - almost. I couldn't face him. I knew Helen wanted to see him. But she wasn't sure if he wanted to see her. Could things get more complicated than this? I doubt it.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Guy's POV  
  
"Hey Guy.. you ready to go?" Luis asked. "Ken's already waiting out the door. You driving?"  
  
"Yeah," I replied. I shut my book and grabbed my keys. I looked across the room and my eyes fell on Charlie's empty bed. It'd been almost a week he'd been at the hospital. We moved most of his stuff over there. I missed having him around. We were taking turns visiting him. Tonight was mine, Luis' and Ken's turn.  
  
Just then my phone rang. "You guys wait by the car. I'll be there in a second," I told them. I answered the phone. Somebody screamed in my ear. I held the phone away, puzzled.  
  
"Oh God.. help.. help me.. someone.. please..," said a voice that sounded awfully like.. Connie?  
  
"Connie?? Is that you?? Connie?" I asked. I heard a rasping breath in the phone.  
  
"You bitch!" someone yelled. Then came a resounding slap and the phone went dead.  
  
"Oh shit.." I cursed. She was in trouble. I felt it in my bones. Where could she be? No time to think first. I gotta act fast. I dashed into the Bash Brothers' room.  
  
"Portman! Could you get Luis and Ken to the hospital? Something came up," I said quickly.  
  
"Yeah man.. what's the emergency? Something wrong?" he asked.  
  
"No time to explain," and I was out the door in a flash. I heard Luis and Ken call out behind me but I didn't turn back. I started up the car and reversed stepping on the oil.  
  
Come on Germaine.. think.. think.. where could she be.. I pulled in beside the mall.. not there.. the pond.. not there either.. she had to be somewhere.. Damn it! Who knew what he was doing to her right now..  
  
While searching for her, the all memories of our time together came flooding back. The first time I saw her walking down the street. the first time we held hands at the minor playoffs game.. our first kiss after we won the pee wee championships.. I had to keep searching.. I only hoped it wouldn't be too late.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Helen's POV  
  
I knew I longer belonged at Eden Hall. I had no friends, no life. Nobody wanted me here. Besides, if I left, I'd be doing Adam a favor. The Ducks were ignoring him because of me and he refused to leave me by myself. The only way things would return to normal between them was having me out of the picture, out of their lives. I would go back to Ohio and explain everything to my parents. They had to let me stay, because I wasn't coming back, no matter what.  
  
But before that, there was one last thing I had to do. I crossed the road to the hospital. I had to see Charlie one last time. I asked the nurse at the counter for his room number and followed the signs. As I approached the room, I shortened my steps. I wanted to make sure none of the Ducks saw me. I paused at the door and listened. It was quiet, he must be alone.  
  
I opened the door slowly. What I saw gave me the biggest shock of my life. Charlie laid there on the bed asleep. Though he had covered himself with a blanket, I could make out two stumps at the end of his torso, where his legs were suppose to be. Nobody had told me this. I wanted to cry, but I stopped myself. My poor poor Charlie.. why did it have to be you..  
  
At that point, I had a wild thought. I'd stay, for him. But then I remembered, he'd told me to go away. He'd told me he never wanted to see me anymore. I crept in and laid his green Duck jersey on the chair. He'd given it to me on our first date. Now, he'd have it back because I'd never see him again.  
  
--- Flashback ---  
  
"Surprise! You can open your eyes now," he said. I opened them to a green blur.  
  
"Umm.. Charlie? What's this?" I asked him, holding the jersey up.  
  
"It's my first Duck jersey when we played in peewees. I wear it every night to sleep. I want you to keep it. It'll remind you of me every night before you go to sleep when I'm.. gone.." he said.  
  
I hugged him, "Don't say that.. you'll be ok.. I just know it.. We'll be together.. forever and ever. I love you Charlie Conway."  
  
"I love you too.."  
  
--- End Flashback ---  
  
With a last glance, I shut the door behind me before I started crying. I'd be home soon and leave Charlie, Adam and the Ducks behind, together with my past life to start a new one.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
A/N : So.. what do you guys think? Anyone thinks Adam's in the wrong? Or Helen? Poor Julie.. she had to take that blow.. But don't you just wish we'd get a chance to explain ourselves sometimes? Is Guy going to find Connie before it's too late? What do you think is gonna happen to Charlie? Hope everyone enjoyed that..  
  
Banksiesbabe99 : Sorry bout the suspense.. Charlie's still alive! As you've read.. but I'm afraid things aren't going to be too well for him.. Your finger feeling better?  
  
Katie : Hey! I thought you'd gone hiding~ Hope you liked the story so far.. it's going to end soon I'm afraid.. another chapter or so..  
  
Anne918 : Thanks for taking the time to catch up! What do you think about the Charlie/Helen/Adam conflict? Who do you sympathize with most?  
  
Canadian-hockey-girl : Sorry gal.. not much of Connie in this chapter either.. Yes, that was Guy she was kissing.. Whoop~! =) I got a large section of Guy/Connie in the next chapter.. so keep reading!  
  
Hey.. if you think this story's worth reading.. could you spread the word around? I'd love to hear from lots more people.. Thanks! =) 


	18. All We Need is a Little Time

Adam's POV  
  
The door opened to reveal Fulton. His face was dead white. I sensed trouble right away. Sure enough, the first words that came out of his mouth were, "Adam, the hospital just called. They're having trouble stabilizing Charlie. You get Helen, Julie and Connie. I'll let the others know. Make it quick." With that he was already out the door.  
  
"Wait, Fulton!" I called out. He skidded to a stop. "Thanks," I told him. "Yeah," was all he said. I dashed into the girls' room, not bothering to knock.  
  
"Girls -" I stopped. No one was in the room. Where were they? I was about to close the door when I noticed how messed up Helen's side of the room was. In fact, it looked as if someone had emptied out the drawers in a hurry. Could it be? No. Just to make sure, I opened the closet. Her side was empty. She was gone. I ran outside and bumped into Russ.  
  
"Russ, have you seen Helen?" I asked him frantically.  
  
"No -," he started saying, but I was already out the door. I had to catch her before she left. And this round, I knew exactly what I had to do when I found her. I had to bring her back. To Charlie.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Guy's POV  
  
The second I drove into the parking lot in front of the diner, I knew I was in the right place. The place was deserted already even though it was only 9pm. Parked in what seemed the darkest and most secluded area of the lot, was a lone car. I could feel my heart beating fast. I got out of the car cautiously. I didn't want to be caught before I could help Connie. Then a scream pierced through the night and my heart stopped.  
  
"Connie!!!!!!" I shouted and broke into a run towards the car. As I neared, I could make out two figures on the ground, one on top of the other. It was Chris. And he had Connie in a grip lock. "Oh Guy.. I'm so sorry.." she cried. Her shirt was in shreds all over her and the legs of her jeans were torn apart. The bastard! I dove to push him away and we both stumbled to the ground. I aimed a punch in his face but he rolled over and pinned my arms to the side. I saw stars as he punched me back and forth. I could hear Connie calling my name somewhere nearby and that gave me all the strength I needed.  
  
I fought back, trying to get on top of him again. I saw a broken plank of wood to my left. I stretched my hand desperately to reach it. Just a little more.. got it! I whacked him on the head and he stopped struggling. He was out cold. I pushed him off me and rushed to Connie's side.  
  
She sank into my arms sobbing hysterically. "Shh.. hey.. it's ok. I'm here.. Don't cry Cons.." I stroked her head. She shook her head, "I hurt you so badly.. I'm so sorry.."  
  
"It's ok.. it's over now.." I whispered. "No.. it's not ok.. I tried to tell you.. but I couldn't.." she whimpered. I didn't say anything but pulled her in closer. Nothing else mattered, as long as the girl I loved was in my arms again. I kissed her forehead as she sagged against my body.  
  
Suddenly, I could feel something cold and hard sticking into my back. I stiffened. It couldn't be.. No.. Connie gasped and let go. I turned around slowly.  
  
"Thought you had me there, huh? Wimp!" Chris growled. He pointed a small, black pistol right at my head. "It's not so easy.." I felt a lump rising in my throat.  
  
"Guy!" Connie screamed. "Shut up bitch!" he snarled and shoved her aside. She fell to the ground. His eyes were wild. Like an animal's, I realized. Not only that, they were cold. So cold they sent a chill down my spine just looking into them. This was it.. This was how I was going to die.. defending my girl. I closed my eyes and waited for him to shoot me.  
  
"Time to say goodbye to your girl.." he sneered.  
  
Huh? I opened my eyes in shock. He lifted the gun towards Connie instead. No! Without thinking, I jumped in front of her and heard a gunshot fired into the air. I flew backwards into Connie. She screamed my name and so did someone else, who, I didn't know. The last thing I saw was Connie's face hovering over mine.. I love you Connie.. that's all I need you to know.. and all went black.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Adam's POV  
  
I drove full speed all the way to the bus station. I prayed that Helen's bus wouldn't be waiting at the station. I had to fix things back to the way that they should be. I ran into the station. There were several buses lined up in front of the building. Which one? My eyes searched frantically. What if she already left? Then I caught sight of a familiar blue sweater. Helen! She was climbing the steps of the last bus.  
  
"Helen!" I shouted and picked up a sprint. She turned around. When she saw me, she hurriedly scrambled into the bus and the doors closed behind her. I poured on speed, but just then, the engine sprang to life. Before I reached the bus, it was already pulling away. I jumped, just high enough to tap on one of the windows. The people on the bus were staring at me. But I paid no attention. I had to get her down. As I ran desperately alongside the bus which was picking up speed, I searched for Helen.  
At the very last window, I saw her face. It came and was gone in a second, but I knew she had seen me. I leapt as hard as I could and tapped the window several times. It opened up and an old lady's head popped out.  
  
"What do you want sonny??" she yelled.  
  
"Helen!! Stop! You've got to hear me out!!" I shouted as loud as I could. I was breathing hard. Come on Adam.. you can do this. You can't let her leave..  
  
"She says she doesn't want to talk to you!" the granny yelled back.  
  
"Wait! Stop this bus! Helen!!!!! Charlie's not going to make it!!" I shouted my last and fell to the ground, skinning my knees. I watched helplessly as the bus rolled out onto the highway, leaving me in the dust.  
  
I got up and walked dejectedly back to the car. I'd failed. I only hoped I was in time to see Charlie and to apologize for everything.  
  
"Adam!" a voice called out behind me. I swung around quickly. Helen was running towards me. Behind her, pulled to the side was her bus. I grabbed her hand and half pulled, half dragged her to my car.  
  
"No time to talk! We've got to get to the hospital," I said as I drove determinedly towards the hospital. We had to be in time.. we just had to.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Guy's POV  
  
I couldn't see anything clearly, but I could hear voices buzzing around me. There was a sharp pain in my chest.  
  
"Thank God you found us.." I heard Connie say.  
  
"Connie.. there's something we have to tell you. It's Charlie.. he's not going to make it.." I heard. I snapped my eyes open. I saw Connie, Fulton, Portman and a dozen of other people pushing my bed along.  
  
"Charlie.." I said slowly. The pain stabbed through my body and I heaved.  
  
"Guy! You're awake!" said Connie. She was crying. I grabbed her hand.  
  
"Charlie.. I have to see Charlie.." I told her.  
  
"No! They've got to get the bullet out," she said between tears. I tried to get up but Portman pushed me back, "No, you're going to get yourself killed."  
  
"I have to see Charlie one last time!" I shouted. Big mistake. The pain throbbed even worse than before and I clutched at my heart.  
  
Portman and Fulton looked at each other. Finally Fulton said, "Ok.. but only for a while."  
  
The pushed my bed down the hall quickly and into the room. "Charlie!" I called out. I tried to ignore the pain, shooting up my chest.  
  
"Guy? What happened?" asked Russ. There was a babble of voices around me, but I could only look at Charlie. They were right. He wasn't going to make it. But he managed to grin at me still.  
  
"So, who's the one in a mess now?" he laughed weakly. I tried to smile at him but I couldn't. "That's ok.. they'll get you fixed up. No problem," he said.  
  
I tried to say something, but ended up crying instead. Charlie looked up at Connie who was by my side and back to me again. Everyone must've been crying, but he was the only one smiling.  
  
"I'm glad you two patched things up. No more fighting, k?" he said. I nodded, just barely. Connie smiled at me weakly.  
  
"Ok, with got to get you into the emergency room," the nurse said. I looked at Charlie. "Hey Guy.. Quack, don't cry," he said. I just had to smile. Goodbyes weren't necessary; he'd always live in our hearts. I took one last look at him and they wheeled me out of the room.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Helen's POV  
  
"Can you tell us -" Adam started asking the nurse. But I pulled him along with me.  
  
"I know the way!" I told him and we rushed to Charlie's room. My heart beat faster and faster as we approached. Suddenly, I was afraid of a lot of things. I was afraid of facing the Ducks. I was afraid of seeing all the angry faces. I was afraid that they would stop me from going in. But the thing I feared most was that Charlie wouldn't be there anymore.  
  
"Charlie!" I burst the door open with Adam following closely behind. 11 pairs of eyes were staring at us, some teary-eyed. Julie rushed forward and pulled me into the room. "Hurry, he wants to see you."  
  
I hurried to the bedside. "Helen.." he croaked. I could see that he was having difficulty breathing. His face was very pale and his lips dry. He looked very tired. The others started getting up to give us some privacy.  
  
"Banksie.." he muttered. Adam turned around hesitantly. He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came.  
  
Charlie gave a watery smile, "It's ok.. Banksie.. I know." Adam suddenly looked liked a heavy burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He held Charlie's hand tightly. For a moment, the two best friends looked at each other, words unspoken, but a deep understanding flowed through with love and trust in their eyes. Then, Charlie placed Adam's hand on mine and looked at us, smiling.  
  
Adam gave a look of surprise, but he didn't draw back. "Take care of her for me, will you?" Charlie said to him. Adam nodded. Then his gaze fell back on me.  
  
"I'm sorry for the things I said. I was afraid.." he apologized. "Oh Charlie.. I was never mad at you.. I was just.. confused.." I said to him. Tears started flowing down my face. He lifted his hand to wipe them away. "Don't cry.. I'll be ok.." he said.  
  
"Does it hurt?" I asked fearfully. He smiled, "No.. not a bit.." At that moment, the pulse detector started beeping faster and faster. "Somebody get the doctor!" I screamed. "It's ok.. don't.. be.. afraid.." he said softly. The rest of the Ducks stumbled in quickly and rushed to the bedside.  
  
"Hey team.. remember.. Ducks.. fly.. together.." he looked at them, still smiling. Then he put his hand on top of mine and Adam's. "I love you Helen.."  
  
I gripped his hand tightly, "I love you too.." Slowly, he breathed his last breath and laid still. I cried into his chest, trying to find another heartbeat, a sign of life, anything to tell me that he was still alive. But deep down inside, my heart filled with dread, for I knew, he'd left us, forever.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
The Day You Went Away..  
  
I wanted to cry, But there were no tears, I wanted to shout, But there was no sound.  
  
You laid there so still, Never to run, Never to smile, Never to speak to me again.  
  
I saw no smile, Heard no laughter, Felt no touch, From you anymore.  
  
And so we live, Without your image, But with the love you left us, And the courage you gave us.  
  
~ The End ~  
  
A/N: That's it! The end of my very first fic! Hope everyone enjoyed that! I wanna thank all my reviewers, especially Katie, anne918, Banksiesbabe99 and crazy4nc128 for keeping with this story! Thanks you guys! 


End file.
